


Us Versus The World

by aceofspade1



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Best Friends, Bittersweet, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, How Do I Tag, Hurt Toby Smith | Tubbo, Hurt TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Nightmares, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Past Violence, Platonic Soulmates, Post-L'manberg (after it explodes so sorry for spoilers), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-War, Tags May Change, Trauma, Traumatized Tommyinnit (Video Blogging RPF), Traumatized Tubbo (Video Blogging RPF), i keep changing these tags lmao, oh yeah they still have their compasses, past trauma, they're best friends your honor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:46:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28681317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aceofspade1/pseuds/aceofspade1
Summary: War changes people. And when those civil wars divide families and friends, you're bound to struggle. And when you have enough wars....you know that it'll never truly end.Tommy and Tubbo live in a post-war limbo. And the people they're surrounded by are constantly at each other's throats. They know the wars will never truly end. They've been through so much and only know one thing for certain: they have each other. It's them versus the world.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), No Romantic Relationship(s), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Comments: 18
Kudos: 112





	1. Dreams and Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my first fic ever! I am not used to sharing my writing with the world so here goes nothing! Enjoy!
> 
> (Also please don't ship these people, they're real people, and tommy and tubbo are minors, this is purely platonic)

The sky was streaked with colors of red, orange, and yellow, creating a beautiful background. The lake shimmered brightly as the sun set over the horizon. The clouds were tinted like cotton candy, grazed by the paintbrush of the sun. A gentle breeze blew through the air. It smelled of sweet summer, fresh trees, and tranquil nature. The peaceful quietness of the night was settling in, as the sun tucked in for sleep. Tommy inhaled the fresh air, closing his eyes with content.

Their humble home was quiet and tucked neatly away from the mess of war and battle. The little wooden and cobblestone cottage was nestled in between rolling hills. They were at peace. Tommy had his cows, his garden, his disks, and most importantly, he had his Tubbo.

Tubbo. His best friend. They had met so long ago, growing up as playful children, before everything happened. Before their innocence was wiped away. Before their childhood was stolen. Before they had to grow up far too fast. Before the wars.

Tubbo and Tommy had been child soldiers. Fighting wars that weren't theirs, watching people they knew and loved die, (sometimes at their own hands) and facing betrayal after betrayal, after betrayal. Those were harsh times. You couldn't trust anyone. Got attached to a friend? Bam! They switched sides and were suddenly trying to kill you. Hugging your family one day? Whoosh! Murdered the next. Built up an entire city to start a new life with? In a split second you watched it all crumble to dust and ashes, as the blood of you and your enemies is smeared over the foundation of it all.

But those times were over. Or so, Tommy sincerely hoped. After the final war, their old home, L'manberg, had been blown to smithereens by Tommy's own brother, Techno, and Dream. Him and Tubbo had finally had enough and decided to leave. They set out to find their own corner of the world, and live a peaceful rest of their lives together. No fighting, no bloodshed, no war. So here they were, in a peaceful little area of their own, making do with they had, and each other.

The soft rustling of grass alerted Tommy to Tubbo's presence, pulling him from his thoughts.

Tubbo walked over, "Hey Toms, whatcha doing?"

"Just watching the sunset," Tommy shrugged.

Tubbo nodded, "Tomorrow we have to go back. It's the monthly trip. Niki and Wilbur will be happy to see us."

A small pause.

"Why can't we just stay here?" Tommy said, "Not go back?"

Tubbo, confused, raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

"Well we can fend for ourselves perfectly fine. We have a Nether portal, a garden, livestock, a house, weapons, we don't need supplies from Niki and Wilbur anymore."

"Well yeah, but we stopped needing that from them a long time ago," Tubbo replied, "It's more just about visiting them."

Tommy scuffed his sneaker into the dirt, not looking Tubbo in the eyes.

"Is there something wrong, big man?" Tubbo asked.

"No. No I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah...yeah I'm sure. You should probably say goodnight to the bees."

Tubbo squinted at Tommy suspiciously, "Alright then."

Tubbo walked off to tell his bees goodnight. Tommy let out a long sigh. Niki and Wilbur were good friends, Tubbo was right. But Tommy didn't want to visit them, or as least not as much as they did. Niki and Wilbur lived pretty close to the old site of L'manberg. The memories from there were not fun, and constantly caused stress for Tommy. Sure it had been a home at one point, but his true home was never a place. He could survive just fine without L'manberg. He was already doing that. He couldn't survive without Tubbo though.

Tubbo had always been there for him. Through thick and thin. _Minus when he exiled you though,_ Tommy reminded himself. But that wasn't Tubbo's fault. He was just trying to do what was best for (at the time) his country. And even if Tommy were still debating that fact, Tubbo had exiled him years ago now. It was a thing of the past and their friendship had long since been repaired. If anything, they were closer than they had ever been beforehand. But even while Tubbo meant everything to him and was his best friend, they still disagreed on many a topic. For example, their monthly visits to Niki and Wilbur.

Niki and Wilbur were close friends. Wilbur was Tommy's older brother, and Niki was Wilbur's extremely close friend. (At one point Tommy mistook them for dating, and they just looked at each other with horrified expressions. He remembered that Wilbur called it "platonic soulmates" or whatever. He had also said Tommy and Tubbo were the same. Tommy wasn't much into sappy stuff like that, so he'd basically ignored it). And when him and Tubbo had first run off together, they were still kids. So Wilbur and Niki promised to help them out to make sure they didn't get into trouble.

After a while of monthly supply visits, Tommy and Tubbo were grown up. And even when they were kids they could totally fend for themselves, but especially now that they had grown up, they didn't need assistance anymore. Plus, for Tommy, being near L'manberg was very triggering and stirred up bad times for him mentally. He wasn't quite sure about Tubbo, but due to his insistence on still going, Tommy assumed it probably didn't bother him that much.

Tommy shook himself from his thoughts once more as a colder breeze flew by. The night was settling in. He'd talk to Tubbo about the visit tomorrow. He took one last look at his surroundings before heading back to the cottage, satisfied.

* * *

_The sound of bombs echoed through the air. The sky was filled with smoke, clouds of gray, and downpouring rain drenched the terrain. Thunder rolled across the battlefield as explosion after explosion complimented the rumbles. Lightning struck, trees were on fire, and everything was ablaze. Fireworks and enchanted arrows sailed overhead, but the bright colors and whistles were nothing more than another noise and threat added to the mix. Swords clashed, and people screamed in agony. It was a sea of indiscriminate bloodshed, everything stained with the crimson tint of battle._

_Tommy found himself panting, gasping for air, running along slick obsidian over L'manberg as it exploded beneath. He looked over his shoulder with wild eyes, and out of the smoke cloud jumped his masked pursuer. With a ragged gasp, Tommy swung his sword behind him in a desperate attempt of self defense. Dream advanced aggressively, sword lashing out mercilessly as if it were an extent of his arm._

_Tired and scared, Tommy stumbled backwards onto his butt. Dream knocked Tommy's sword out of his hand with ease. Helplessly, Tommy watched the sword fall off the obsidian path almost as if it were in slow motion. With a soft but threatening jab, Dream had the tip of his sword at Tommy's chin. Dream slowly raised his head to face him._

_"It's over Tommy. L'manberg is gone."_

_"No...no it can't be," Tommy croaked._

_Laughing maniacally Dream stepped on Tommy's chest. He raised his sword above his head. Horrified, Tommy braced for death as he brought the sword down--_

_And all of a sudden Dream was gone._

_Instead Tommy was circled by some of his old friends, family, and enemies. Eret, Wilbur, Niki, Quackity, Techno, Phil, Fundy, Ranboo, Sapnap, and George stared down at him with disgust. And they were chanting._

_"No one needs you, no one loves you. No one needs you, no one loves you..." on and on and on._

_Tommy curled up into a protective ball but to no avail. They tightened the circle, the chanting getting louder and louder, filling Tommy's head. There was no escape. He was drowning in those words. No one needed him. He was a failure._

_Tears leaked from Tommy's eyes as he began to sob. He pleaded for them to stop chanting but it was robotic, and no one could hear him. Nobody cared. And then the circle opened up to reveal Tubbo._ _Tommy, his tears tracking through the dirt on his face looked up to him. The chanting became an ominous thrum of background noise as L'manberg was continuously blown up._

_"Tubbo...please, you have to help me!" Tommy exclaimed hoarsely. He reached out for his friend's hand, but_ _Tubbo flinched backwards with fear. And in Tommy's voice, Tubbo let Tommy's most regretted sentence tumble out of his mouth._

_"The disks were worth more than you ever were."_

_Everything turned to black mist, fading into the background. Tommy let out a scream of agony, filled with apologies and pleas. Tommy just screamed, his voice echoing around in his head. Round and around and around and around and...._

Tommy shot up straight in his bed. He was heaving, gasping for air. He desperately clung to his blankets, assuring himself he was awake. Beads of sweat were accumulated on his forehead. He looked around the room frantically, realizing he had just had a nightmare.

Slowly, Tommy calmed down. He was at home. Away from war, away from L'manberg, away from The Greater Dream SMP, where everyone else lived. But he couldn't grasp the fact that he was safe. The memories plagued him and at this point, they always would. He knew that by now.

Suddenly he heard quick footsteps. Tommy's head snapped up, jumping to survival mode, but when the door opened, it was just Tubbo.

"Are you okay?" Tubbo asked.

Tommy stuttered, "Wh-what? Yeah, yeah I'm alright."

They stared at each other for five seconds, then Tubbo came in the room and shut the door behind him. He walked over to Tommy, sitting opposite him on a bean bag.

"I get them too you know," Tubbo said quietly, "the nightmares."

Tommy opened his mouth to protest, but said nothing and closed it again.

"The ones about the war, mashing anything and everything into one culmination of _bad_ ," Tubbo continued.

Tommy nodded, hanging his head.

Tubbo walked forward and rested a hand on his friend's shoulder, "Don't be ashamed, Toms."

Tommy lifted his head to meet Tubbo's gaze. He nodded silently in response. And without warning, Tubbo wrapped his arms around Tommy's head pulling his face into his chest.

Tommy let out a sigh that he didn't know he was holding. Tubbo pulled him in closer, holding him tighter. And they stayed there for a while. They weren't sure for how much time, but they didn't care. Tommy's face in Tubbo's chest, arms around his middle. Tubbo holding Tommy's head against him, leaned over the rest of his body. They needed to know the other was there, because there had been too many times where that was not a given.

Tubbo sighed deeply and pulled away from Tommy.

Tommy smiled weakly, "Thanks, big man."

"Of course. I'm always here," Tubbo replied. He turned and walked to the door.

Tommy suddenly felt a panicky feeling crawl up in his throat.

"Wait!" he exclaimed.

Tubbo turned back around.

"Can...." Tommy's cheeks flushed pink, "can you stay?"

Tubbo nodded with a soft and sympathetic smile. He returned to Tommy's bed. Tommy scooted closer to the wall, making room for his friend. Tubbo got in, snuggling into Tommy's blankets. Tubbo tucked his head under Tommy's chin, curling up against his side. Tommy wrapped his arms around Tubbo, grateful he was so willing to stay. He nestled the side of his face into the brunette's hair. Content, the two settled down for the rest of the night.

"Thank you, Tubs," Tommy murmured.

Tubbo grunted in response. They snuggled closer and fell asleep to the rhythm of each other's heartbeats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this first bit make sure to comment suggestions, feedback, etc and maybe leave a kudos! (is this how you do self promo...? Am I supposed to do this anyways??)
> 
> I hope to update soon, mayyyybe once a week? I'm no good at keeping goals so I doubt that'll happen...but I'll try!


	2. Reminiscence and Reflection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lately I've been in the writing spirit and motivation finally struck me, which is new. Haven't gotten a lot of inspiration or been free from writer's block in a while. Always a good feeling. I've been working on this all week, so enjoy this chapter!

Birds chirped outside the window, which was how Tommy realized he was awake. He inhaled deeply and cracked open his eyes only to feel hair tickling his face. With a confused little snort he looked to see Tubbo asleep by his side. And then Tommy remembered. The nightmare, and Tubbo reassuring him everything was alright.

Slowly so as not to wake him up, Tommy slid down the side of the bed, hugging the wall so he didn't push Tubbo off. As soon as Tommy had moved out of the way, Tubbo rolled further into Tommy's bed, repositioning himself. Tommy chuckled softly. He slowly stood up from the bed to walk across the room. The bed creaked a small bit and Tommy winced. To his relief, Tubbo didn't react.

Tommy walked over to the corner of his room to grab a backpack to prepare for the travel to Niki and Wilbur's. Tommy sighed, knowing it was going to be a long day. He quickly scanned the pack to see what supplies were already in there. He had a waterbottle, a couple gapples (golden apples), one regular apple, a loaf of bread, a pickaxe, two potions of healing (one for him and one for Tubbo), and a sleeping bag. It was basically full.

Tommy slung the bag over one shoulder. He left his bedroom to go get his bow and arrow, tack up their horse, and set the pack by the door. Tommy closed the door quietly so as not to wake Tubbo, then hurried outside. He dropped the pack next to the front stoop and went around back of the cottage to get their horse ready.

Tommy opened the stable door, "Hey Earl."

The horse nickered softly in response. Tommy held up a small handful of hay. He smiled as the horse ate it. He gently stroked Earl's muzzle, wishing him a good morning before he saddled up their friend for the journey.

"Tubbo will be up soon, then we can get going," Tommy told the horse, "Sorry to make you wait."

As Tommy began to tack up Earl, he thought about his short conversation with Tubbo the day before. How he was reluctant to visit Wilbur and Niki, and how he still didn't want to go. Yeah it was nice seeing them, but did they have to live so close to where L'manberg used to be? Tommy wished they lived further from there.

Tommy was jerked back to the present as Earl angrily nipped at his side. He had pulled the girth a little too tight. Tommy frowned, "Sorry buddy." He adjusted the girth and returned to his thoughts.

_But what if Tubbo doesn't understand? What if he doesn't get my point of view? I don't even like talking about L'manberg and the past anyways, and that's still something Tubbo and I ignore....and I don't want it to be awkward....but Jesus, fuck, I really hate that place._

Tommy lead Earl from the stall and around the front of the cottage. He tied his lead up to the front fence.

"Wait here," Tommy said. Earl seemed to give him a confused look of, _Bro you tied me up, I ain't going anywhere_. Tommy went back inside. He opened the chest in the storage closet, grabbing his enchanted bow and arrows. As he headed to the door again he heard footsteps make their way down the stairs.

"Oh hey Tommy," Tubbo yawned.

He turned to his friend, "Hey big man, sorry, I didn't want to wake you."

"Meh, it's fine. I needed the sleep," Tubbo shrugged.

"I was just prepping for the journey. Earl is tacked up and ready to go, and my pack is all ready. You should probably get your stuff together," Tommy explained. He jabbed a thumb towards the door in reference to the pack. Tubbo nodded in understanding.

"I'm gonna eat breakfast," Tubbo said, "and you should too."

Tommy furrowed his brow, "How did you-?"

"I've known you for far too long for that to slip under the radar," Tubbo cut him off with a laugh.

Tommy blew a raspberry, "You're such a smartass."

"Oh yeah? Well you're a dipshit," Tubbo laughed, "Now go put your bow outside and eat breakfast."

Tommy shook his head with a chuckle and quickly left the bow and arrows outside by his pack. He gave Earl a quick rub between his ears before slipping back through the door to Tubbo.

Tubbo leaned up against the table with a bowl of stew in hand and said, "My pack is basically ready to go. I just think I have to reload the healing potions."

"Nah, I got those," Tommy replied, "they were both in my pack."

"Oh okay, what else did you get?" the older boy asked. He sipped from his stew and recoiled a little as it was still pretty hot.

Tommy listed from memory, "I got some bread, gapples, regular apples, my pickaxe, water, all that good stuff."

"Why not a sword?"

Tommy stiffened.

"Oh, right. Sorry," Tubbo quickly apologized.

Tommy nodded curtly, "Yeah it's whatever. You can get a sword if you want."

"I'll check my pack now. You go feed Earl. We got a long way ahead of us," And with that Tubbo hurried to his room.

Tommy sighed and walked out the door. He gave Earl a half-hearted little pat and walked around back of the cottage to where they kept the animal food. He grabbed a bucket and filled it with grain, hay, and added an extra carrot for good measure. They were going to need that today. As he made his way back around the house he heard a faint buzzing noise.

Tommy looked over his shoulder to see a bee flying his way. He set down the bucket and tentatively opened his hands for the bee to land in. He'd never been as good as Tubbo was with them. The little bee landed in his palm and looked at him with wide and inquisitive eyes.

Tommy remembered when he was like that. Young, innocent, and didn't know about the hardships of the world. When the beauty of everything was so mesmerizing. He missed when he thought like that. He missed when he had his freedom, just playing games in the fields with Tubbo, back when they were young. He missed when he could hold a sword without the weight of incredible guilt threatening to crush him. He missed when swords meant nothing and weren't a trigger for horrible things done to him and what he had done to others. He missed when using a sword was just a toy and not a lifeline. He missed when a sword wasn't a symbol of violence but the symbol of a warrior. Tommy sure didn't feel like a warrior.

 _Ignorance really is bliss_ , Tommy thought to himself.

With a gentle finger, he stroked the bees fuzz a couple times. It almost seemed to purr like a cat. Tommy's eyes crinkled into a smile. He led the bee back to what Tubbo had named "The Bee Courtyard". It's where he kept all of his bees. Clearly this little guy had escaped somehow. He opened the gate and with a light toss of his hand, the bee flew back into the courtyard. Tommy quickly shut the gate, he'd never been in huge favor of bees. But Tubbo had wanted some, and so bees they had gotten.

"Hey Tommy!" Tubbo called from around front.

"Yeah?"

"You fed Earl yet?"

"Not yet, there was a bee that got loose, I was putting them back."

"Oh, ok."

Tommy quickly picked up the feed bucket and hurried down the side hill to the front of the cottage. Tubbo smiled in greeting as he came around the corner.

"You ready to go yet?' Tubbo asked.

Tommy nodded, "I think so, is your bag packed?"

"Sure is," Tubbo replied.

"Great, let's get going."

Tommy pulled himself on top of Earl, reaching down to help Tubbo up after him. They situated their packs on the side of the horse and Tubbo sheathed his sword. Tommy slung his bow and arrows over his back. From the corner of his eye he saw the glint of Tubbo's sword hilt. He shook the quickly rising memories from his mind.

Tubbo pat the horse's croup, "You all ready to go, boy?"

Earl snorted and stomped his feet impatiently. He wasn't one for standing still. Tommy picked up the reins he had untied when he mounted and adjusted them to the right length. He clicked his teeth, steering Earl in a circle. Tubbo wrapped his arms around Tommy's middle for support. And off they went at a brisk trot to Wilbur and Niki's house.

* * *

"Tommy, should we take a rest to eat?" Tubbo asked.

Without a response Tommy slowed Earl down to a halt. He tapped Tubbo's knee, telling him to dismount. Tubbo did and Tommy followed suit. They found the nearest tree and tied Earl up before unloading the packs.

"We still have a little ways to go," Tommy remarked, "but it shouldn't be too bad. We're over halfway."

"That's good, that's good," Tubbo replied.

They took the packs and walked over to a medium sized rock still in sight of Earl. It wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world, but Tommy knew he had been through worse. He and Tubbo didn't care.

The rock was a little small to fit both of them, so Tubbo let Tommy have the rock and decided to sit in the grass. They looked out over the field in front of them. It was an empty field with no trees. It was just a wide span of lush grass. They could see a treeline on the other side with a hazy, indigo mountain peaking above. The sky was a clear blue with no clouds. It was a nice summer day, and on different circumstances maybe Tommy could appreciate the view. He was just too focused on the fact he had to go to Wilbur and Niki's again.

Tubbo seemed to notice his friend was lost in thought, "You okay big man?"

"Just thinking," Tommy shrugged, "It's no big deal."

Tubbo pursed his lips, "Is it about being by the old L'manberg site?"

"A little..." the blonde admitted.

Tubbo sighed, "I can tell you wanna talk about it."

Tommy shook his head defiantly. Tubbo groaned in slight annoyance, lightly kicking Tommy's shin.

"You're too stubborn for your own good," he scoffed.

Tommy kicked him back and teased, "Stop being an arsehole!"

The boys laughed, making light of the conversation. But Tubbo kept pressing.

"Tommy, I get you're reluctant to go back. But it's nice to-"

"No Tubbo, it's not!" Tommy interjected. He angrily stood up, shocking his friend.

"When we ran away together, we were trying to get as far away from L'manberg and the Greater SMP as possible. That's what we agreed on, right? I never wanted to go back. I tolerated it for the supply visits earlier on. We needed the help. I'll admit that. But afterwards, I wanted it to be just you and me! With no one else."

Tommy slumped back onto the rock and sighed. Tubbo picked at the grass with a sheepish expression, not responding. The boys stayed silent for a few minutes, thinking.

"We can make this our last visit if you want," Tubbo said, "I'm honestly not a big fan of going back to the site either."

Tommy raised an eyebrow, "Really?"

"Yeah. I did it for Niki and Wilbur. They care about us and I wanted to just let them know we were alright. It was the least we could do."

"Yeah...I guess so."

"Wilbur is your older brother isn't he? He loves you, Tommy," Tubbo added.

Tommy shook his head, "Please don't make this about Wilbur. Yeah, we're brothers, but we were never super close or anything. Didn't help that we were sort of a dysfunctional family."

"Yeah alright. But we don't have to go back. It's not just you who has bad memories. The wars took a toll on everyone," Tubbo continued. Tommy watched Tubbo mindlessly fiddle with the bandages wrapped up by his wrist. His facial expression softened apologetically. Tubbo had also been through a lot, hell, Technoblade had publicly executed him in front of everyone, and his body had to pay the price with a permanent reminder.

"You sure?" Tommy asked.

Tubbo chuckled, "I was kinda hoping you would ask someday."

Tommy finished his snack and stood up. He lent a hand down to Tubbo and and helped him off the ground. They smiled at each other. Tommy gave Tubbo an appreciative pat on the back. The boys grabbed their packs and resituated them to Earl.

"I'll be in front this time," Tubbo volunteered. He threw the reins over Earl's neck and mounted. He helped Tommy get up behind him. Tommy secured his arms around Tubbo and off they went.

This time they set off at an easy lope. Earl had gotten a nice rest and had only trotted beforehand, so the boys didn't think it would be pushing him too far to slowly canter. Plus, they needed to get to Wilbur and Niki's soon anyways, as they were running low on daylight.

"Do you think we'll have to make a Nether portal?" Tommy piped up.

Tubbo thought for a moment, "I don't think so, we'll be there soon enough and by at least sundown. Either way, it won't be the end of the world if we're out after dark."

"I don't want to fight any monsters, Tubbo."

"I know, I don't either," the older boy replied, "And even if we did run into any, if we canter fast enough we'll outmaneuver them anyways."

Tommy bobbed his head in consideration, "True."

The boys rode a couple more minutes in silence, both glancing over the horizon every now and then in an unspoken race against the sun. Soon the sun's colors were splashed out across the sky in streaks, and the tip of the sun was just barely visible over the mountain. The boys took a sharp turn into the woods and rode until they came to a clearing. In the clearing stood a small wooden cabin, smoke billowing from a chimney.

"We're here!" Tubbo exclaimed. Tommy peeked out from around Tubbo, his eyes lighting up with excitement.

The boys cantered up to the house, but surprisingly Niki and Wilbur weren't there to greet them. The pair was slightly confused but didn't think much of it. Tommy walked up to the door briskly to see a small little note hanging there.

_Tubbo and Tommy,_

_Apologies for our absence. Niki and I aren't home right now. We're taking a visit to the old L'manberg site. If you want to come find us we'll be there, paying some graves a visit. It's a little something we like to do. We are very excited to see you both, and if you don't come find us make yourselves at home! We'll be back soon enough._

_Your brother and friend,_

_Wilbur_

"They're at the graves, Tubbo."

"What?"

"Wilbur and Niki," Tommy breathed a shaky sigh, "they're at the old L'manberg site."

Tubbo furrowed his brow, "How do you know?"

Tommy gestured to the little piece of paper on the door. Tubbo came over and read it to himself, mouth moving ever so slightly as he went along (it helped with his dyslexia). He pursed his lips tightly and took a sharp breath through his nose.

"Should we go find them?" Tubbo asked hesitantly.

Tommy rubbed his arm, "I mean we never visited the graveyard. I feel bad."

Tubbo rested a hand on his friends shoulder but didn't make eye contact. He asked softly, "You sure?"

A short pause.

"I think his body deserves to be paid at least one visit," Tommy concluded.

Tubbo reached an arm behind Tommy, pulling the taller boy into a side hug. Tommy took that moment to make his final decision. Go back to the old site. The place with all of the trauma, the place with the horrid memories, the place that sparked the nightmares. Tommy knew it would eventually happen someday. And he was guilty for not having visited his grave. So why not go now? Slowly Tommy nodded, telling Tubbo he was ready.

The boys turned, mounted Earl, and made their way back to Old L'manberg. Somehow they still knew how to get there. They hadn't been back to the L'manberg site in ages. But it was so imprinted in their brains that they would never forget.

And then there it was.

Tommy and Tubbo came through the trees to a giant hole in the ground. It did not look natural, and well, it wasn't. The whole area was overgrown, and a few remnants of L'manberg were still sitting there, left to rot and die with the city itself. If the duo did not have such horrid memories tied to this place, maybe it would've been cool, pretty even. But just as L'manberg had been destroyed, so had their optimism in relation to the old site.

"You can still see the bedrock," Tommy mumbled in disbelief.

Tubbo peered over the edge, "Yeah, you can."

"Let's go find Wilbur and Niki," Tommy quickly changed the topic. With a soft kick, Tommy nudged Earl into a jog. They trotted around the giant chasm in the ground. The boys tried to ignore it. The longer they were there, the more memories came back and the more vivid they were. But they recognized everything. Every tree, every rock, and every slight shift in the ground level. They knew it all. And that terrified them.

When L'manberg was destroyed for the final time, the graves were still intact. Not that Dream and Techno were just that kind, but it was just a sheer miracle that they were far enough out of the way. Dream and Techno hadn't cared, and if L'manberg was still around to this day, they still wouldn't.

In the distance Tommy and Tubbo saw two figures by two tombstones. A girl waved at them as they approached. Tommy and Tubbo rode up to the two and dismounted Earl. Tubbo ran up to give Niki a tight hug. Tommy held Earl behind him.

Wilbur floated over, "Tommy! Tubbo! Oh it's great to see you! Niki and I were just saying hello to the graves!"

"Hey Wil-I mean Ghostbur," Tommy said.

Wilbur was dead. He had come back as a ghost and everyone referred to him as Ghostbur. At least, to his face. People called him Wilbur behind his back but when talking near him they used Ghostbur. Wilbur didn't appreciate the ties he had with his alive self, so he wanted to cut off his name from that.

"Hello Tommy. Do you want to come say hi to Wilbur's body?" Ghostbur moved backwards to show off his grave.

Tommy looked apprehensively at the tombstone. He handed Earl's reins to Tubbo and slowly approached the grave.

_Here lies Wilbur Soot: a friend, a brother, and a son_

Tommy could feel all the emotions he felt for Wilbur bubbling to the surface. How Wilbur had forced him, a literal child, into a war that should never have been his own. But also how Wilbur cared, and supported Tommy. But also how he spiraled into madness, resorting to violence and betraying Tommy. Angry feelings, hurt feelings, happy feelings, sad feelings, scared feelings, and loving feelings simultaneously were bursting at the seams to be heard. But Tommy refused to let them. With a hard swallow he shoved them down. Tommy slowly lowered to his knees. He felt the cool dirt between his fingertips.

"Hey Wilbur, it's good to see you," Tommy's voice wavered. And then in a low whisper, "I'm sorry I never came sooner."

Gently, Tubbo helped Tommy up to his feet. He gave his friend a loving smile and greeted the grave as well, with a bit of a warmer tone.

"Should we head back home?" Ghostbur asked.

Niki and Tommy nodded but Tubbo stepped forward, "Hold on! I...I want to say hello to someone else."

Tommy stared at his friend in confusion, "Tubbo no one else is here."

"No one else that is alive," Tubbo corrected him.

"Tubbo you can't mean..."

Niki interrupted by taking Tommy's hand, "Let him be." Tommy looked at Niki with a confused and slightly hurt expression as Tubbo made his way to the slightly smaller tombstone. It almost looked as if the tombstone had been attempted to be hidden in some way. And Tommy heard Tubbo speaking, just barely loud enough for him to hear.

"Hey, Schlatt. I know it feels a little out of place for me to be here, and especially after so long, but I just wanted to say thanks. Even though you weren't always the best, you were a mentor for me. You were there for me...in some twisted way or another. But anyways, I'm just here to say hi. So yeah, that's all."

Tubbo returned to Niki, Tommy, and Ghostbur. He nodded affirmingly that he was done. Niki nodded back, Tommy just stared blankly.

"Tubbo...after everything that happened...why did you still talk to him?" Tommy inquired. Tubbo bit his lip in unease.

The brunette shrugged, "I dunno. It just felt wrong to ignore he ever existed in my life."

The two boys locked eyes and just stared at one another, trying to pick apart the other's motives. Tommy knew he shouldn't judge Tubbo, but then again, how could he still manage to be kind to a man who had abused and publicly assassinated him?

"Let's go home boys! We're having beet stew tonight for dinner!" Niki called.

Tubbo nodded his head towards Niki, "We should go."

Tommy nodded in agreement. He replied to Niki, "We're coming!"

With Earl in hand, Tommy and Tubbo followed Niki and Ghostbur back to their cabin as the moon shone above them in the sky, stars twinkling kindly at them, like there wasn't a care in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To clarify: yeah Wilbur is dead. And technically I never specified that he was alive in the first chapter, so this isn't technically an inconsistency. (that's called lazy writing to make up for stuff you didn't think through beforehand). But bear with me here, we're not even at the good part *wink wink*.


	3. Invitations and Relaxations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah I keep switching between Ghostbur and Wilbur. This is supposed to be in Tommy's general perspective (if you couldn't already tell) even if it's in third person. So despite that, Tommy keeps forgetting to call his brother by Ghostbur, and only remembers every once in a while, like when another person talks about him. So that's why there's changes in calling him by Ghostbur and Wilbur. This will probably stay a constant throughout the whole fic. Anyways, PSA over, enjoy!

_He left. He's gone._

_He left him to die._

_He abandoned him._

_He hated him._

_He left. He's gone._

_He told him he was a traitor._

_Told him their friendship was nothing._

_Told him that something had changed._

_He left. He's gone._

_He's gone, he's gone, he's gone, he's gone._

_A scream._

Tommy's eyes snapped open. He sat up as quickly as possible. "Tubbo!" Tommy whisper-shouted, hand outstretched in front of him. Slowly he released his breath, looking to his left. Tubbo was sound asleep in the bed across the room. With a sigh he watched Tubbo move around in his sleep. Tommy couldn't help but feel worried for him. He laid back down hesitantly, closing his eyes. Thoughts were racing through his brain, but Tommy tried fighting them back.

The voices and memories got louder and louder, pictures dancing behind his eyelids, surging like a wave. Flashes of screams, corpses, and blood tortured him. Tommy thrashed to get them out of his head but to no use. They got more and more horrific. Louder and louder and louder and louder and-

"Move over," a small voice said.

Tommy cracked his eye open and looked over his shoulder to see a tired Tubbo with extreme bedhead.

Tommy blinked away the sleepiness, "Tubbo?"

Without hesitation, Tubbo crawled in next to Tommy. He pulled the blanket over himself and turned so he was facing away from the blonde. With a sigh, Tommy pressed his back against Tubbo's.

"I had a nightmare," Tubbo whispered.

Tommy nodded slowly, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"You died," Tubbo stated, "and it was my fault."

"I had a nightmare too," Tommy admitted. He awkwardly picked at his cuticles. Tubbo rolled over so he was completely on his back, a pensive frown on his face.

"Do _you_ want to talk about it?" Tubbo questioned.

Tommy shrugged and pulled his legs closer to his body, "It's a little harder to describe. But you died. It...it was also my fault. Or at least, I never got to make up with you."

"I'm not leaving you Tommy," Tubbo reached over Tommy's shoulder and took his friend's hand, "Not even for a millisecond."

With wide eyes, Tommy rolled over to face the brunette. He didn't say anything verbally, but Tubbo seemed to understand.

"I promise."

Tommy felt tears threaten to fall down his face. With a gulp he croaked, "I'm sorry. I wish I was a better friend."

Aggressively, Tubbo grabbed both sides of Tommy's face. He stared Tommy right in the eyes, brown meeting blue. Tommy tried pulling away, but Tubbo wasn't about to let go.

"No, Tommy. You are the best friend anyone could ever ask for. Sure, you've made mistakes. But I have too. And you know that. And you forgave me so easily! It's been forever since then. Can you please forgive yourself?"

Tommy rested his forehead against Tubbo's, "I'll try, big man. I'll try."

And if the pair of them ended up sleeping in the same bed at Niki and Wilbur's? Well, nobody else would ever know.

* * *

"Tommy! Tubbo! Breakfast is ready!" Niki's voice made her way through the door.

Tubbo slowly wiggled out of Tommy's grasp, standing up. Tommy felt Tubbo leave and tried to hold on tighter, but Tubbo just giggled. Tommy sat up in the bed with a yawn. The smell of poached eggs wafted to their noses and the two made their way downstairs.

"Morning Niki," Tubbo greeted her. Tommy nodded in Niki's direction in agreement.

Niki smiled, setting two plates down on the table, "Hi boys! Ghostbur will be here to join us in a minute, he was just playing in the flowers outside. You can start though."

Tommy and Tubbo sat down next to one another. Niki went to the door to see if Ghostbur was coming back. Silently, the young men started their eggs and toast. As always, it was delicious. Niki was a great cook. Ghostbur soon came floating back inside, and Niki closed the door behind him.

"Oh! Tommy, Tubbo, I have something I want to show you!" Niki clapped her hands excitedly. She hurried off and Tommy and Tubbo watched her go.

Tommy turned to Ghostbur, "Where is she going?" Ghostbur just shrugged. Soon, Niki came hurrying back with a little envelope in her hand. The broken seal from the pre-opened letter was bright red, and a bit too fancy for Tommy's liking. Niki opened the envelope and pulled out a piece of parchment.

"Here, let me read it," she volunteered, "Dear Niki and Wilbur."

Ghostbur flinched but waved her on, "Keep going."

"Dear Niki and _Ghostbur_ ," Niki continued, "I hope this letter finds you in good health. As you know, the Dream SMP has been broken into shambles. There are many enemies, and everyone's relationships between one another are very stressed. But in the end, we are still a nation of people. We are still the citizens of the Dream SMP. That is one thing we hold in common."

"So I have a proposal to make: we have a reunion. It's been many a year since some of us have seen other members in person, and on good terms. I will be hosting a reunion at the old L'manberg site. There will be no weapons and no armor, in honor of the teachings of the country. Just bring yourselves. I trust you remember how to get there. I have sent this letter to everyone else who's residence I know of. Please come meet us on August 16th. Best wishes, Dream."

Tommy's eyes widened at the mention of his name and he placed a hand on Tubbo's thigh under the table. Tubbo turned to him and nodded sympathetically.

Ghostbur beamed, "A reunion! Won't that be fun?"

Tommy bit his lip and turned to Niki, "We never got a letter."

"Dream doesn't know where you and Tubbo live, Tommy. No one does. Of course you never got a letter," Niki explained, matter of factly.

"So it's on the 16th?" Tubbo asked.

Niki nodded. Tommy looked to his friend, aghast. Tubbo? Wanting to go back? This wasn't the friend that he knew.

Tommy poked the older boy and whispered loudly to him, "Are you saying we should go?"

"I'll let you two talk about it for a moment. I need to tend to the garden," Niki said. She stood and walked to the door, mentioning for Ghostbur to follow. The door shut, leaving Tubbo and Tommy alone in the kitchen.

"You really want to go?" Tommy repeated, louder this time.

Tubbo shrugged, "I miss some of our old friends."

"Tubbo! This is Dream we're talking about! He organized this! It could be a trap!" Tommy insisted.

"I don't think it is," Tubbo shook his head, "I don't see what Dream could gain from a simple get-together."

"Tubbo," Tommy lowered his voice, "you remember when I told you what _really_ happened right?"

"In exile?"

The blonde nods.

"How Dream treated you, right. I-I know. It was awful Tommy and I'm so sorry. I never should've exiled you, and what Dream did wasn't okay. I know you'll never trust him again. And I won't either. You're my best friend and I don't want you getting hurt. Not like that. Never again." Tubbo took Tommy's hand.

Tommy's brow furrowed, "So why do you still want to go?"

"Because I miss our old friends, Tommy," Tubbo sighed, "Quackity, Fundy, Sam, Eret, Bad, Jack, all of them. We haven't seen them in ages. Just Wilbur and Niki. And I think they miss us as well."

"I know Tubs. I miss them too," Tommy squeezed Tubbo's hand and looked at the ground.

Tubbo decided to try for a compromise, "We don't have to stay long. We won't ever come back. Not even to Niki and Wilbur's, like I said before. But please, just this once?"

A tense pause.

"On one condition," Tommy mumbled.

"Yes?"

"We do not talk to Dream."

* * *

"So we'll see you in a week?" Niki asked to confirm.

"Yup! We'll be back in a week," Tommy replied.

Ghostbur smiled, "I'm sure all of our friends will be overjoyed to see you two! We'll keep it a surprise!"

Tubbo chuckled lightly, "Thanks Ghostbur."

Earl nickered and stamped his feet, ready to head back home. Tubbo picked up the reins and Tommy smiled at his friend. With a little kick they were off, set towards home.

They cantered for a little while, passing back through the deep woods and back to the fields from before. Today it was a bit more cloudy and less hot, but definitely not less beautiful. The mountain range gleamed in the distance, the treeline creating a green blanket beneath it. The sky was a grayish blue and the clouds more prominent.

"I think it's gonna rain soon," Tommy remarked.

Tubbo looked up to the sky, "Yeah it looks like it."

After another long day of cantering through the fields they arrived back home. The little cobblestone and wooden cabin stood waiting for them, with the garden, animals, and bees happily still there, going about their lives in peace. They trotted up to the house and dismounted Earl.

'I'll go put Earl away, you can start unpacking the stuff," Tubbo told Tommy. So Tommy brought in both packs and began to unpack all the supplies. When Tommy was organizing the storage room and replacing the supplies, he felt a pair of arms wrap around his middle and a head prop itself on his shoulder.

Tommy snorted, "You're so clingy."

Tubbo chuckled and hugged his friend tighter, "I know."

"Do you want attention or something?" Tommy asked, placing a potion on a high shelf. He felt Tubbo nuzzle his face more into his neck. Tommy sighed and stopped trying to organize. He leaned backwards into Tubbo, appreciating the touch. The two of them stood there in silence for a few minutes, soaking up the others company.

"Are you tired?" Tubbo murmured into Tommy's neck.

Tommy shrugged lightly, "A bit. Do you wanna listen to the disks?"

"Sure," Tubbo smiled.

The two boys let go of one another and made their way out to their bench by the lake. Next to the bench sat their brown jukebox. Tommy picked up the disks sitting on top of the jukebox and turned to Tubbo, hiding them behind his back.

"Hmm...let's see...we're listening to Cat today?" Tubbo guessed.

Tommy slid the disk into the jukebox behind him and turned it on. To Tubbo's delight, Cat was the disk that played. He clapped his hands excitedly. Tommy laughed at the older boy and plopped down on the bench next to him. The pair looked out as the sun began to set in the distance, creating a fiery sky that made it seem as if the clouds themselves had caught flame. Cat's twinkling notes danced in the boys ears.

Tommy inhaled deeply, "Sure is nice tonight."

Tubbo nodded, "It is."

They sat in comfortable silence for a bit, and Tommy heard a soft buzzing noise make its way over. He looked to his left to see the bee that had escaped from before they left. It had come over to say hello. It landed on Tommy's knee and seemed to smile in greeting. Tubbo beamed when he saw the bee.

"Look, Tommy!" Tubbo laughed, "One of the bees finally likes you!"

Tommy cupped his hand around the bee and it crawled eagerly into his palm. Tubbo's eyes lit up, he seemed happy Tommy was finally getting along with the bees.

"He's a nice little fella," Tommy remarked, gently stroking the bee's fuzz.

Tubbo cocked his head, "I don't think he has a name."

"Well then we should give him one," Tommy decided.

"I think _you_ should," Tubbo said, "He seems to really like you." With that, the little creature snuggled deeper into Tommy's hand. Both boys smiled.

"Barry? Barry the bee?" Tommy offered.

With a sharp laugh Tubbo said, "Maybe, let's see if he likes it."

"Hey Barry, it's nice to see you again," Tommy waved slightly at the bee. The bee flew out of Tommy's hand and made excited circles around his head. Tommy and Tubbo laughed merrily.

"Barry it is!" Tubbo exclaimed. The bee seemed to nod at Tubbo and then flitted off back to the Bee Courtyard. Both boys watched Barry fly off.

"You know, I'm starting to get a little more fond of bees," Tommy smirked.

Tubbo playfully hit Tommy's arm, "I knew you'd come around Big T!"

With a sigh Tommy leaned into Tubbo's side, resting his head on top of his friend's. Tubbo gladly snuggled his head into the crook of Tommy's neck. With a soft smile, Tommy intertwined his fingers with Tubbo's and squeezed his hand gently. As the boys relaxed and relished the other's presence, Cat played in the background setting a perfect tone to the serene evening. Tommy looked down at his friend and with his free hand reached over and squeezed Tubbo's upper arm comfortingly.

"Look who's clingy now?" Tubbo mumbled.

Tommy blushed, "Shut up!" he grumbled.

"This is nice you know," Tubbo said, "Just us, listening to the disks, sitting on the bench, naming bees. I like being able to do this with you."

Tommy nodded, "I really like this too."

After a few more minutes of silence, Tommy felt Tubbo's breathing slow down. Gently he lifted his head to check on the brunette, only to find him asleep against his shoulder. With a light chuckle Tommy leaned to his left and pulled Cat out from the jukebox. He carefully maneuvered his shoulder out from under Tubbo's head. With a swift and cautious movement he scooped the older boy up off the bench. Tommy turned and went back to the cottage.

Slowly, he shouldered his way through the front door and crept up the stairs quietly. He went to Tubbo's room and slowly laid him down on his bed. Tommy untied Tubbo's sneakers and placed them on the floor next to him. With a soft push he moved Tubbo's legs further from the edge. Tommy reached over Tubbo and tucked him under his blankets. He ran his fingers through Tubbo's hair lovingly, ruffling it up a little bit.

"G'night big man," Tommy whispered. He tiptoed back to Tubbo's door and with one final glance back to his sleeping friend, he grinned to himself. With genuine happiness and fufillment, Tommy returned to his room and slept soundly for the first time in weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a little late! (Studying for finals, school, motivation, and all). But here it is now! Also, I think it's a little on the shorter side and there wasn't much Niki and Wilbur content. Don't worry, there will be more. Next chapter I plan on it being all fluff as a bit of a filler for the week until they go back to L'manberg. Don't worry, the clingyduo won't have all torture in this fic!


	4. Joys and Boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I write this fluff chapter purely because I am not emotionally nor physically ready to write the rest of this story? Yes. Absolutely. Now read.

Tommy went downstairs to attempt to cook breakfast the next morning. Usually Tubbo was the one that made food, but Tommy felt nice today. The eggs actually went well to Tommy's surprise. But as he tried to cook the bacon, things went down south. Soon enough, the whole house started to smell like smoke. Tommy heard footsteps race down the stairs.

"Tommy!" Tubbo coughed, "What the fuck is going on?"

"I-I, um...erm..." Tommy stuttered. In the end he just gestured helplessly to the smoking oven as Tubbo hurried over.

Frantically, Tubbo shut off the stove, "Tommy, what in the actual shit were you trying to do? Whatever, just open the windows."

Tommy raced around the kitchen and dining room to do as he was told. Flinging open the windows, he heard Tubbo muttering and cussing to himself. Guiltily, Tommy walked back to the oven as the smoke died down and the room started to clear up. He found Tubbo staring at what used to be bacon and was now strips of charcoal.

"Tommy what is this?" Tubbo asked, gesturing to the intensely burnt bacon.

Tommy rubbed his neck sheepishly, "I was trying to make breakfast."

"Really?" Tubbo chuckled, "For me?"

Tommy refused to meet Tubbo's eyes. He nodded slowly, blushing furiously.

"You really didn't need to do that," Tubbo said.

Tommy shrugged, "I mean, I wanted to try."

Tubbo sighed exasperatedly and pat Tommy on the shoulder, "I'll make breakfast, you can just chill." Tommy nodded and sat down at the table.

Tubbo got out some eggs and started to cook them on the frying pan. The delicious smell and sizzling sound flooded Tommy's senses. He was glad at least one of them knew how to cook. Tommy got two plates and placed them on the counter next to his friend. With a smile, Tubbo turned off the stove. He placed the eggs on each others plates and the two sat at the table together.

"Aren't ya glad I caught you before you burned the house down?" Tubbo teased with a smirk.

Tommy snorted, "Shut up."

"So," Tubbo thought aloud, "what do you wanna do today?"

"Do you think we could do the chores together instead of splitting it up?" Tommy suggested.

Tubbo frowned, "But it'll take longer."

"Please? Just this once, big man?" Tommy begged.

"Fine," Tubbo sighed, "just this once."

The pair finished their eggs and beaming, Tommy went and grabbed the chore list.

"So what do we do first?" Tommy asked.

"I dunno." Tubbo shrugged and gestured behind Tommy. "Probably the dishes."

The two boys then got to work. Tommy washed the dishes in the sink and Tubbo dried them. They smiled, both liking the tag team effort. Tommy began to whistle a little tune halfway through.

Tubbo raised an eyebrow, "What kinda song is that?"

"Oh you know-" Tommy handed Tubbo another plate, "-something happy. Gives me vibes of two or three hedgehogs running a little clothing shop. They would play it in the background as a theme."

"That's...oddly specific," Tubbo commented.

Tommy laughed, "Yeah I know."

After some more whistling and dish-cleaning, Tubbo and Tommy were ready to move on to the next chore of the day. Tubbo suggested they feed the farm animals and with a slight groan, Tommy obliged. They put on their shoes and walked around to the back of the cottage.

"Why don't you like doing this chore?" Tubbo asked, grabbing a bucket.

Tommy bobbed his bead back and forth, "It's just boring."

"Go refill the water over there." Tubbo said. "I'll do the actual feeding with the grain and stuff."

Tommy walked over to the hose and unraveled it from the holder. As he pulled the hose over to the water trough, he got an idea. With a small chuckle to himself he looked over to see Tubbo busy in a stall. He quickly dumped out the dirty water from the trough and raced to turn the hose on. With a little squeak he turned the knob and heard the water begin to flow. Tommy hurried to pick up the other end of the hose, putting a kink in it before water started coming out.

"Hey Tubbo, can you lend me a hand?" Tommy leaned around the corner of the stall.

Tubbo turned around, "Yeah, what's up?"

"I don't think the hose is working," Tommy bit his lip trying not to laugh, "so could you check it out?"

Tubbo placed the bucket down and hopped over the small stall door. He walked over to the other end of the hose to see if there was any problem. Tommy quickly turned so Tubbo didn't see him holding the hose in a kink behind his back.

Tubbo's face contorted in confusion, "Tommy I don't see an issu-AGH!!" Laughing, Tommy sprayed Tubbo with the hose.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!!" Tubbo shouted.

"Haha, gotcha!" Tommy exclaimed.

Tubbo scrambled to turn the hose off and after a short moment both boys burst into laughter. Tubbo shook his hair to spray water at Tommy. With a playful shriek Tommy ran away from him. Laughing, Tubbo chased Tommy, trying to flick some of the water on him onto his friend. Tommy ran into a daisy meadow with tall grass and tripped over a stick hidden there. Tubbo laughed at Tommy but proceeded to make the same mistake as well, falling down on top of him.

"Tubbo," Tommy laughed, "get offa' me man! You're all soaking wet!"

"And who's fault is that?" Tubbo joked. The boys playfully hit each other and wrestled lightly. After a minute Tubbo rolled off of Tommy and laid in the grass next to him.

Tommy smiled, "It's nice today."

"It sure is," Tubbo agreed.

A gentle breeze blew by, ruffling their hair. Tommy turned his head to look at Tubbo. And in his eyes was something he hadn't seen in a while.

A spark.

He looked like a kid again. He looked _genuinely_ like a kid. The way Tubbo seemed so happy and at peace just lying down in a daisy meadow amused Tommy. And he looked so innocent. Of course Tubbo really wasn't all that innocent, and neither was he. But Tommy could sense something was different in this moment. Slowly, but surely, they were healing.

"Do you want to finish chores?" Tubbo asked.

Tommy smirked, "Race you back to the cottage."

"Ohhh, you're on!"

Quickly they scrambled to their feet and sprinted back through the daisy meadow. Tommy ran his hand through the tall and thin grass as he went, feeling the weird sensation of the blades lightly brushing his fingertips. He looked over his shoulder to see an exasperated Tubbo behind him. With a laugh, Tommy continued towards the house. He reached the livestock area not too long afterwards.

"No fair," Tubbo panted, "Your legs are just longer than mine."

"Sure thing, big man." Tommy placed his hands on his hips and gave a final look at the animal pens and stalls. He nodded affirmingly, "Ready to go do other chores?"

"Let's go to the bees!' Tubbo exclaimed, "I'll check up on them and you can see Barry again! He'll like that."

Tommy chuckled, "Sure, let's say hi to the bees."

Tubbo clapped his hands happily and grabbed Tommy's wrist. Tommy laughed as Tubbo dragged him to the Bee Courtyard. When they arrived Tubbo flung open the door with joy and stepped in arms wide.

"Greetings, my children!" Tubbo announced. Tommy chuckled and slid in behind him, closing the door. The bees turned to Tubbo and buzzed enthusiastically. (Or at least, that's what Tommy assumed). All the bees came over to Tubbo in a friendly swarm, excited he was there. The boy laughed and greeted all of them individually. How Tubbo could tell the difference between each one was a mystery to Tommy.

A faint buzzing noise made its way up close to Tommy. He turned and saw Barry. Tommy smiled and held out his pointer finger for him to land on. Tommy sat on a little bench and watched as Tubbo went to check up on everything in the Bee Courtyard.

"So, how have you been?" Tommy asked the bee. Obviously, Barry didn't reply. But Tommy decided Barry was having a good day and nodded, pretending he was having a conversation.

Another bee flitted over towards them. Barry looked up at the other bee and seemed a bit nervous. After what looked like a short conversation, Barry flew behind Tommy's shoulder and hovered there.

Tommy frowned, "Hey, be nice. I can tell Tubbo otherwise." The other bee flew away after it seemed to have rolled its eyes. Slowly, Barry came back around and landed on Tommy's knee.

Tommy sighed, "I'm sorry about that, I guess bees can be pretty mean too." Barry seemed to shrug dismissively.

Tommy looked to the other bees, seeing all of them clustered together. He looked back down to Barry and suddenly it clicked.

"I get lonely sometimes too. I know how it feels to not fit in. Maybe not in the same way, but...you know. That _feeling_. It sucks." Barry flew back up and hovered in front of Tommy's face. Tommy smiled.

"I guess we're supposed to be friends then," Tommy whispered, "Two misfits who both love Tubbo." Barry bobbed up and down in a nod-like motion and zipped away, leaving Tommy with a soft and content smile.

Tubbo came bounding over, "Well, everything looks good in the Bee Courtyard!"

"Great, anything else we gotta do?" Tommy asked.

Tubbo thought for a moment, "Oh! The garden!" He pulled Tommy off the bench and hurried over to the door. Tommy turned to the Bee Courtyard one last time and gave a small wave to no bee in particular.

"Tommy, come on! It's our last chore!" Tubbo called. Quickly, Tommy followed his friend.

The boys headed to the garden and went through all of the different crops. Tubbo went and checked on the wheat and potatoes, Tommy checked on the carrots and beetroots. After picking weeds, raking the dirt, cleaning up dead leaves and branches, and picking whatever specific plants were ripe, Tommy and Tubbo brought their baskets of food inside. They began to wash the vegetables together.

"So what do you want to do after this?" Tommy asked, inspecting a potato.

Tubbo placed a carrot to the side, "I dunno, maybe listen to the disks?"

"That sounds nice," Tommy agreed, "Disks it is." The boys finished washing off the vegetables and sorted them neatly into baskets. (Tommy loved to make fun of Tubbo for wanting them to look aesthetically pleasing). They put their shoes on again and walked out to the bench.

Tubbo raced to pick up the disks, "I'm gonna choose this time!" He slid Mellohi into the jukebox and plopped himself down on the grass. Tommy sat on the edge of the bench. A zephyr blew through the air as they began to relax. The mysterious tune of Mellohi danced with the wind.

Tubbo flopped on his back and stared at the sky, "Today was nice."

"It was," Tommy replied. He picked his dirty nails absentmindedly, looking out over the shimmering lake.

"So," Tubbo began, picking a small daisy, "how are you feeling about the reunion?"

Tommy's face dropped, "I dunno, Tubbo. I guess I'm just not prepared."

"That's alright. We still have a week," Tubbo stated. Tommy couldn't fathom how he was so calm. He turned to look at the older boy. Tubbo was now occupied with multiple daisies, weaving them into a little crown. Tommy smiled, the child was coming back to Tubbo. He was happy for his friend, but couldn't help feeling a little jealous.

"You're not worried? Not even a little?" Tommy asked in disbelief.

Tubbo made eye contact with Tommy, "No, I definitely am. But I choose not to really voice it. That way you feel okay," Tubbo smiled.

"You're allowed to be nervous Tubs," Tommy said, "I wouldn't judge you."

Tubbo placed the flower crown gingerly on his head, "I know. That's why you're my best friend. But you know what they say, 'fake it until you make it!'"

Tommy pursed his lips, "Tubbo..."

Tubbo froze all of a sudden, the smile fading from his face. Suddenly he looked ashen. His hands fell to his sides and he began to breathe really heavily. Tommy worried he'd accidentally set Tubbo off. Tubbo wrapped his arms around his knees and began to rock back and forth. Tommy sprang off the bench.

"Hey, hey Tubbo, it's okay, it's okay, you're right here with me," Tommy reassured him. He pulled Tubbo into a hug and held him against his chest. Tubbo raised his head to face Tommy. Tommy's heart shattered when he looked at his friend. A few silent tears streaked down Tubbo's face. All Tommy wanted was for them both to be happy. But deep down he knew they weren't really healing. Or at least it was happening very slowly.

But they had to be healing, right?

"Tommy, you're right," Tubbo exhaled shakily, "I'm not ready to go back to L'manberg. I don't know what's going to happen and I am scared," He nodded to himself slowly, "But I have you, right?"

Tommy smiled, "Of course. Always."

"I'm glad," Tubbo replied. With a sniffle, he snuggled further into Tommy's chest. Tommy opened his mouth to call Tubbo a clingy bitch, but Tubbo got there first.

"Yeah, I know. I am clingy. And so are you," Tubbo declared.

Tommy went to protest but sighed defeatedly, "Ugh. Whatever. I won't even fight you on this bitch boy."

"So you're admitting I'm right?"

"That is most definitely not what I said."

"Is too!"

"Is-fucking-not!"

"Is too!"

"No, it's not!"

Tommy groaned and shook his head. Tubbo laughed.

"Tommy," Tubbo sat up and looked his friend directly in the eyes, "I just wanna say something."

Tommy nodded, "Yeah, anything."

Tubbo reached over and held Tommy's hands, "Whatever happens next week in L'manberg, whether it goes well or not, isn't going to change anything. When we come home together you are still going to be my best friend. Always and forever. I mean, it's not like we're marching into another war, right?"

"I know, Tubbo. Thank you." Tommy squeezed Tubbo's hands.

Out of the blue, Tubbo threw his arms around Tommy's neck. Tommy jumped in shock but gladly accepted the embrace.

"I love you, Tommy. It's okay, you don't have to say it back," Tubbo whispered.

"No, no," Tommy squeezed him tighter, "I love you too Tubbo."

Tubbo sat back on his haunches, "Really?"

"Yes, Tubbo. I love you," Tommy repeated.

Tubbo wiggled his eyebrows teasingly, "Expressing emotion now are we?"

"I won't be affectionate at all if you do that every time I make an effort, Jesus fuck," Tommy rolled his eyes.

Tubbo laughed, "Yeah, yeah I know. So, you just wanna chill for a little longer out here?"

"Sure," Tommy nodded, getting back up on the bench, "Sit here."

Tubbo climbed up on the bench with Tommy. Tommy wrapped his arm around Tubbo, pulling him into a side hug. Tubbo rested his head on Tommy's shoulder and Tommy rested his head on Tubbo's. Mellohi continued to play in the background as the sun began to set.

"Can we do this tomorrow?" Tommy asked.

Tubbo nodded, "Sure thing Toms. Love you."

"Love you too, Tubbo."


	5. Fireworks and Fury

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
> Very very brief mention of unaliving oneself, only appears once.  
> Mentions of Parental Neglect  
> Panic Attacks  
> Swearing (with a negative context which is why I didn't make a TW for it before)

"Tommy hurry up! We have to get to L'manberg!" Tubbo called.

Slowly, Tommy slunk to the door. He looked at Tubbo with a grumpy expression. Tubbo sighed and tightened the pack on Earl's back.

"I'm gonna say bye to Barry," Tommy said, jabbing a thumb towards the Bee Courtyard.

Tubbo sighed heavily, "Fine. But be quick."

Tommy hurried off to the Bee Courtyard. He opened the door with zero hesitance and walked inside. He scanned the Bee Courtyard and in almost no time at all he saw Barry zoom over to him. Tommy beamed at his friend.

"Hey Barry," Tommy greeted, shutting the door behind him. The bee buzzed and did an excited loop-the-loop. Tommy let Barry settle into his palm. He continued, "Yeah well, Tubbo and I are going on a little trip back to the old L'manberg site again. We'll be home soon." Barry's wings drooped in response.

"Hey! It's okay!" Tommy reassured the bee, "But I am a little nervous. Cause you know, seeing everyone again and all. What do you think?" Barry snuggled into Tommy's hand. Tommy knew what was implied.

"No, no, no! Barry, no! I'm not speaking to Tubbo about any more of this. We're going, it's final, we made a compromise. It's fine. He doesn't need to hear anything else about this," Tommy decided, "I don't need to discuss every one of my emotion's with Tubbo." Barry looked a bit sadder. Tommy sighed.

Tubbo didn't need to hear his every opinion and his every trauma. He didn't need to know why he was feeling this way or whatever justification he came up with. He didn't need to know every relationship he had with every other person on the SMP. Tubbo wouldn't care. He couldn't, right? People didn't like that. Tommy didn't want to be a burden to his friend, he didn't want to scare him and push him away. If he pushed Tubbo away, he would _truly_ have nothing. But Tommy had to push all of that fear and doubt about the reunion out of the way so it didn't interfere.

So he wouldn't have to deal with whatever those complex feelings meant.

Tommy gave Barry a pat, "I'm gonna go now. Stay here with the others alright? Be safe." Tommy opened his palm flat to signal for Barry to leave. Hesitantly, the bee flew off his hand and let Tommy go back to the door.

He walked back through and closed the door behind him. Tommy took a deep breath and walked back to Tubbo. There was no more procrastinating now.

"There you are! I was about to come get you," Tubbo rolled his eyes and snorted. He lifted Tommy behind him onto Earl.

Tommy gulped and gripped Tubbo's sides, "You ready?"

"I think I'm the one who should be asking you," Tubbo replied.

Tommy took a sharp inhale, "Yes. Yes I am."

Tubbo smiled and spurred Earl into a canter, heading back to the one place Tommy never wanted to be ever again.

* * *

"Here are the woods," Tubbo pointed ahead, "We'll be there soon."

Tommy gripped Tubbo tighter, his knuckles turning white. Tubbo felt Tommy's sudden grip. He slowed Earl down to a walk and an eventual halt. They were stood in front of the entrance to the woods. They were in the last stretch.

"You okay, Tommy?" Tubbo asked. Tommy didn't reply. With a sigh he reached his hand down for Tommy's, sliding his hand between his side and Tommy's hand. Tommy was snapped to attention as he felt Tubbo's hand. Without a second thought he grabbed Tubbo's hand. In other circumstances he would've been embarrassed.

"Tubbo..." Tommy whispered hoarsely, "I'm still not ready."

Tubbo squeezed Tommy's hand, "I'm right here, Tommy. We can do this. It's alright, I'm nervous too."

Tommy looked into Tubbo's eyes. And his heart broke. There wasn't a child there like there was yesterday. It was someone much older, someone very tired, and someone who had been through too much too fast. Tubbo was smiling, but he could see the pain behind it. With a nod and a final hand squeeze, Tommy let go of the older boy's hand. Tubbo faced forward and pushed Earl on.

Through the clearing they could see the old L'manberg site. Tommy frantically looked for any other signs of a person. Then he spotted Niki. She peered through the clearing and gave them a wave, telling them to come over. Tubbo urged Earl on. They climbed the hill to Niki and once they reached the top there they were. They were back at the Old L'manberg Site.

And so was everyone else.

For Tommy, it seemed that time had stopped. The wind came to a standstill and the air became dry. Everyone turned around and stared at him and Tubbo. Everyone he had ever known. All their faces, grown up and yet so young returned the shocked gaze.

"Hello," Tubbo called out. Tommy waved hesitantly from behind him. A chorus of voices suddenly broke out, greeting them with a lot more happiness than Tommy expected.

Tommy and Tubbo dismounted. Tommy reached for Tubbo's sleeve but before he knew it Tubbo was whisked away by Quackity and Karl. They gave Tommy a quick greeting and Tommy smiled in response. Laughing, Tubbo walked away with the two of them. He watched Tubbo approach Niki, Fundy, and Jack Manifold. His heart rate instantly spiked. Tommy took a deep breath and looked at his surroundings to prevent a panic attack.

He saw Tubbo with other old friends, he saw George and Sapnap, Ghostbur was floating around happily, a small group of people were gathered by the base of the old podium, and in the distance away from everyone else was Dream.

Chills were sent flying down Tommy's back as he became aware of Dream's presence. With confusion and terror he wondered why Dream was roaming free. How was he not in prison, or better yet, dead? Tommy felt sick. Dream couldn't be out of prison, surely he hadn't been simply _released_. Not after everything that he had done. Not after what he had destroyed. Not after his death threats and manipulation. Not after everything he had put Tommy through. Quickly Tommy tore his gaze away from Dream. He had vowed that he would not talk to him and intended to keep that promise.

Tommy walked to the woods and his horse. He raised a shaky hand and stroked Earl's muzzle. He stared at the ground with wide eyes, refusing to meet anyone's gaze. He just wanted to go home. With Tubbo. And stay there. Then he heard footsteps.

"Hello, Tommy," A monotone voice said.

Tommy looked over his shoulder, "Hello, Technoblade." Quickly, Tommy broke eye contact and stared back at the ground.

A pause.

Technoblade cleared his throat, "You're alone."

"Yeah, what of it?" Tommy replied defensively.

"Nothing," Techno shrugged, "I just wanted to see my brother."

Tommy stiffened, "You know I don't think of you as a brother anymore."

"Doesn't change the fact I am," Techno replied.

Another pause. Tommy bit his lip anxiously.

"So, um...how's-"

"Phil and Ranboo are good. And how-"

"Yeah, yeah, Tubbo's good too."

"Good."

Techno stepped up next to Tommy, "You know, we didn't expect you to come."

"We were visiting Niki and Ghostbur," Tommy explained, "They told us about the reunion. Otherwise we wouldn't have."

"Makes sense," The older man nodded.

Tommy glanced up at Technoblade. He was wearing his pig mask with the tusks, per usual. He had a red cloak on and was dressed like a king. Of course he really wasn't, he knew how much Techno hated the government. But it was the first time he had really looked at his brother in a while. Not much had seemed to change. Then he felt a bubbling question swell up in his throat. He knew he had to ask.

"Does he ever talk about me?" Tommy blurted.

Techno began to stroke Earl's muzzle as well, "Can you elaborate?"

"Y'know-," Tommy lowered his voice more, "-our dad."

Philza. Tommy, Techno, and Wilbur's father. Tommy wasn't very fond of the man, he had never done a good job at parenting. He killed Wilbur per request and basically ignored Tommy. Phil had clear favoritism for Techno and Tommy had never gotten over that. To this day he was still very bitter. There were a lot of things he would like to say to his father but couldn't.

Technoblade shook his head, "No not really. The topic of you and Wilbur isn't one we like to discuss on a regular basis."

"Never?" Tommy asked in a final attempt.

Techno shrugged carelessly, "Nah."

Anger and hatred boiled in the pit of Tommy's stomach. His own dad had basically disowned him, taken in Ranboo, and refused to acknowledge his legitimate son's existence. And the brother who hadn't been helped in assisted suicide just turned a blind eye and let him get neglected. Tommy was outraged. He wanted to yell and scream and hit and punish Techno right then and there, maybe even tell Phil off a bit too. But he knew Tubbo wouldn't approve, so he kept quiet.

Techno changed the topic, "I don't like this."

Tommy narrowed his eyes at Techno, "What?"

"Everything. Dream. What he's doing." Techno flipped his pink braid behind his back. As his cape shifted with the movement, Tommy could swear he saw a small glint by his hip. He blinked quickly as the sun shone in his eyes.

"Tommy I know you don't trust Dream either," Techno added.

Tommy shook his head, "No, of course not. I didn't want to come to this goddamn reunion anyways."

"Neither did I, trust me on that," Technoblade snorted, "But I had to investigate."

"Why?" Tommy asked.

"I hate Dream just as much as you. And I'm done seeing people fall victim to his plays. They let him out of the prison on probation a while back as long as he minded his own business. Surprisingly, he listened, and never came back. Eventually we drew back our guard on him and let him be. I just know he was biding his time. He's up to something, I can feel it." Technoblade looked over his shoulders with a wary gaze, making sure no one had heard.

Tommy sucked in a breath of air. He didn't reply to his older brother but heeded his warning anyways. Technoblade was a formidable opponent and a good warrior. He had been on Techno's bad side many a time, he knew how dangerous he was from experience. Tommy didn't plan on getting on his bad side ever again.

Technoblade pat Tommy on the shoulder, "Enjoy the party." He turned on his heel and walked away.

Unease crept through Tommy's bones. He didn't want to be here any longer. His brother was right: Dream had to be biding his time. But if anything, Techno was _definitely_ up to something. And whatever was happening he didn't want to get caught in the middle of.

"Earl, I'm gonna go find Tubbo. We need to go home," Tommy decided. Earl seemed to understand, blowing air harshly from his nose.

Quickly, Tommy scanned the area for Tubbo. He repeatedly whispered his name, trying to find him. Soon, he spotted him across the way with Skeppy, Antfrost, and BadBoyHalo. Tommy realized the Egg must've been defeated--Bad and the gang looked like their original selves. He breathed a sigh of relief knowing that wasn't a worry of his. He jogged over to them.

"Oh hey! Tommy! Come over here!" Tubbo called happily.

"TommyInnit!" Skeppy exclaimed, "Good to see you man!" Antfrost and Bad joined in with happy laughter.

Tommy ignored them and leaned over to Tubbo, "Big T, we need to talk right now, it's really-"

"Hey Tommy," BadBoyHalo tapped his arm, grabbing his attention, "I just wanted to apologize."

"Oh yeah, definitely," Antfrost chimed in. Tommy's brow furrowed in slight confusion.

"You know, I was a big, dumb, muffinhead," Bad sighed, "With the Eggpire and all and trying to kill you. It got way out of hand. I never want to kill you Tommy. Thank god Jack Manifold recommissioned those nukes that Tubbo had before you guys left. Without them, the Egg would still be around."

"You blew up the Egg with a nuke?" Tommy chuckled in disbelief.

Skeppy laughed, "Sure did. It worked well too. Hasn't come back since."

"Yeah they were just telling me about it," Tubbo explained.

Tommy grabbed Tubbo's arm, "Hey, um, guys, if you don't mind I just need to talk to Tubbo for a minute."

Skeppy, Bad, and Ant shrugged and let them go. Tommy pulled Tubbo up from where he was sitting and walked him away.

"Tubbo we need to go home, right now," Tommy whispered urgently.

"Wh-what?" Tubbo stuttered, "What's wrong?"

"I can't really explain, but something bad is gonna happen I can feel it." Tommy shook Tubbo's shoulders. "We need to go home."

Tubbo countered, "Tommy no one is doing anything horrible. I really feel that coming was a good idea, we're making up with a lot of old friends!"

"No, no, no," Tommy muttered, "Tubbo I have to keep you safe. Something is going to happen, I know it."

"Calm down. Can you explain your reasoning slowly for me?" Tubbo asked gently. Tommy stiffened and took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

Tommy fiddled with his hands, "Technoblade. He's gonna do something, I know it. I just talked to him, he's up to something."

"Did he specify?"

"No, not really."

Tubbo sighed, "Toms, I'm sure it's fine."

"Tubbo please, you gotta listen to me," Tommy begged. He grabbed Tubbo's wrist as he turned to walk back to their friends. Tubbo looked back to Tommy with a worried expression.

"Tommy, you know how Techno is. I'm sure you're just overthinking it. Don't talk to him anymore, it's not helping with your anxiety," Tubbo advised. He pulled his wrist from Tommy's grasp, "Now I'm going to go talk with Skeppy, Bad, and Ant again."

Tommy went after him but before he could protest more, a loud voice called out for attention.

Dream's voice echoed out, "Citizens of the SMP! Please come to the podium! I have a little something I wish to say."

Tommy gulped and began to make his way to the new podium that had been built. Everyone else flocked over as well. Tubbo was with Skeppy, Bad, and Ant so Tommy was left alone. He looked around to see everyone and Techno caught his eye as he stood with Phil and Ranboo. Tommy clenched his fists nervously. Soon everyone was gathered in front of the podium. Dream lifted his mask just above his mouth so that everyone could see him speaking.

"Attention, everyone! Thank you all so much for coming to this lovely reunion. I am delighted that so many of you decided to attend. I admit I did not expect this many of you to come," he chuckled to himself, "It truly is splendid."

Tommy hissed quietly to himself.

Dream continued, "This reunion was a gathering of peace. A gathering to show that we have grown. This SMP has been plagued by much bloodshed and war. And those times have died down. We have split up and moved on, but despite that fact we are still a people. We are the members of the Dream SMP. I feel so blessed to see you all alive and well. I hope you have made up time with one another and gotten back on each other's good sides. It truly has been heartbreaking to see the divides driven through all of your relationships."

"Liar," Tommy growled lowly.

"So here!" Dream raised a glass, "A toast to the members of this SMP and our newly repaired relationships!"

A chorus of hurrahs echoed throughout the audience. Tommy raised a silent fist to act as if he was part of the group. He looked to Tubbo, and despite the brunette's happiness to be back at the reunion, Tommy could still see a glimpse of doubt and hesitance in his eyes.

And then a firework went off.

And then another. And then another. And then another. Explosions of fiery red, white, and blue erupted in the sky with high pitched whines, the colors dancing in Tommy's vision.

Fireworks. Tubbo.

Shit.

Tommy leaped into action, running to his friend. As he saw Tubbo, he could already see him beginning to hyperventilate. His eyes were glassed over and he was mumbling words that Tommy couldn't make out. All he could assume is that they were pleas for mercy.

"Tubbo!" Tommy exclaimed, placing his hands over the older boy's ears. Tubbo took Tommy's forearms in a death grip, refusing to let go. Tears were beginning to make their way down Tubbo's face.

Tommy forced Tubbo to look at him, clamping his hands tighter on his ears, "Tubs, Tubbo, look at me. Tubster, Big T, hey it's okay. I'm right here. Nothing bad is gonna happen, I'm right here. You're okay, you're okay." Tubbo sunk to his knees and pulled Tommy down with him.

Tommy could feel eyes bearing into him and Tubbo. He wanted to squirm under all that pressure but Tubbo needed him, he couldn't worry about his own discomfort at the moment.

He heard Eret yell, "Dream! Shut the fireworks off!" Other people started to yell as well, but the fireworks _didn't_ stop.

Tommy met Tubbo's eyes, "Hey, Tubs, it's okay. Nothing is gonna hurt you. I'm right here, you're alright, I promise."

"T-Tommy?" Tubbo whispered. He let out a choked sob. "Tommy?"

"Yes, yes, it's me big man. You're doing so great. I'm so proud of you." Tommy pulled Tubbo's face into his chest, clinging onto him for dear life. "Just take deep breaths, everything is fine."

"DREAM SHUT IT OFF!" he heard Niki scream.

Tubbo shuddered in Tommy's grasp, "I don't wanna die, please, please, I don't wanna go..."

"Tubbo, it's me. Tommy. You're going to be okay," Tommy reassured him. He felt Tubbo nod into his chest, having heard what he said.

Soon, the fireworks stopped. Tubbo began to calm down. Tommy heard yelling and people around him but he blocked it out. All he knew was to help Tubbo. Tubbo needed him. Nothing else mattered at the moment. All that Tommy needed to do was be with Tubbo. His Tubbo. And he was Tubbo's Tommy.

Tubbo pulled away from Tommy, sitting up. Tommy carded his fingers through Tubbo's hair.

"You alright, big man?" Tommy whispered. Tubbo nodded slowly.

Niki approached the boys, "Are you two alright?" she asked.

Tommy inhaled sharply and looked across the way to Dream. His facial expression hardened.

"Niki, stay with Tubbo," Tommy declared harshly. Niki obeyed, it was more of a command than a question. She wrapped an arm around Tubbo who looked up at Tommy with tear-filled eyes.

"What are you doing?" Tubbo asked the other boy.

Tommy clenched his fists, "I'm talking to Dream."

"But you said-"

"Things change when your best friend has a panic attack." Tommy marched across the field to the podium. The other members of the SMP dispersed and returned to the happy occasion, letting Tommy do what he wanted to do.

Dream stepped down from the podium to greet him. He lowered his mask back over his mouth, "Tommy! Of all people I _really_ did not-"

"Enough with the lies, bitch," Tommy spat venomously, "You knew exactly what you were doing with those fireworks."

"This was all pre-planned Tommy. I didn't even know you and Tubbo were coming," Dream replied dismissively.

Tommy gritted his teeth, "You fucking prick. Even if that were the case you saw how Tubbo reacted. You saw what the fireworks did to him. You had no reason to let them go on for that long. You're an evil piece of shit and I can't believe you're not in prison still."

"Tommy, I-"

"Shut the fuck up Dream!" Tommy yelled, "Tubbo is the only reason I came to this reunion anyways and he was genuinely excited about it, despite the fact you organized it. You almost killed him! He is too kind of a person for you to be so thoughtless! I mean, I shouldn't really expect more from you Dream, I remember how you treated me in exile. You're a disgusting human being. I bet you manipulated the rest of the SMP into letting you go. You've just been waiting for this moment haven't you? To seize it all back, to get control of everyone again! Is that what this is for? Huh?"

Dream lifted his chin defiantly, "Tommy I'm done being a control freak. I'm not asking anyone to put their belongings into a hole, now am I?"

Tommy flinched. He could feel Dream smirking under the mask. "You arsehole, you son of a-"

"Tommy."

Awesamdude was coming. He clicked his tongue and pushed Tommy behind him.

"Dream I suggest you don't engage with Tommy. He's a little heated right now, as you can tell," Sam said coolly.

Dream brought his hands behind his back and stared at Sam for a solid ten seconds. He eventually gave in and nodded to him. He turned to Tommy and Tommy could feel his eyes burning into his soul. Tommy fidgeted uncomfortably.

Dream cleared his throat, "Enjoy the reunion." He came down from the step he was standing on and walked away.

Tommy felt a release as Dream left. He didn't have to talk to him anymore. But now he had to go back to Tubbo. He looked behind him to see Niki and Tubbo standing there as if they were defending him.

Sam rested a hand on Tommy's shoulder, "You alright kid?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay," Tommy nodded.

Sam smiled, "Here, come with me, let's talk. Tubbo, you wanna come?"

Tubbo shrugged, "I'll just stay with Niki for the time being."

"You sure?" Tommy reached a hand out to Tubbo. Tubbo nodded and gave a soft smile.

Tommy turned back to Sam. He gestured to follow him and Tommy did. Sam pat Tommy on the back, "Let's walk."

Sam led Tommy back across the field and to the edge of the woods. The dark green trees contrasted with the light green grass. Sure, L'manberg was a crater and had bad memories, but Tommy couldn't deny that nature had reclaimed the area in a beautiful way.

"So, how have you been?" Sam started.

Tommy kicked a pebble, "Tubbo and I have been doing pretty good on our own. It's peaceful."

"I bet," Sam replied, "You finally found peace away from everyone else."

"I mean, we're still coming to terms with everything," Tommy admitted. He didn't know why he felt so comfortable talking to Sam.

Sam nodded, "Of course, healing is a long process."

A pause. Tommy relished the comfort of the silence, it was much less awkward than talking to Technoblade.

Tommy asked Sam, "So how are you?"

"Good, good. Ever since you left I've been keeping the Big Innit Hotel in tip-top shape!" Sam laughed. Tommy did too.

"I honestly forgot about the hotel," Tommy chuckled, rubbing his arm sheepishly.

Sam shrugged, "That's alright. You deserve to forget some things of the past. You needed a new life."

Tommy widened his eyes, slightly shocked Sam wasn't mad. He moved on quickly though and brushed the thought away.

"Tubbo and I kinda needed a new start. It's good though. We have the disks, Tubbo has his bees, we made a little cottage, it's nice," Tommy remarked.

Sam looked up to the sky, "I would love to come see it sometime, you know, if that's alright with you."

"Maybe," Tommy replied, "Not too sure though."

"Of course, I completely understand," Sam sympathized.

That was something Tommy wasn't used to. Sympathy. Of course he knew it was basic human decency, but sometimes even that was hard to come across.

"What else have you been doing? Or at least, the rest of the SMP?" Tommy wondered.

"I've been hanging out with Puffy a lot," Sam replied, "You remember her, yes?"

"Yeah, yeah I do. She was very nice," Tommy said. Sam put his hands in his pockets.

Sam smiled, "Yeah we hang out a lot. She comes around the hotel from time to time. Helps me take care of it."

"Does anyone else stop by?" Tommy asked.

"Oh yeah," Sam beamed, "We get a good amount of visitors."

"Anything else?" Tommy questioned.

Sam thought for a moment. His eyes lit up as he remembered, "Oh yes, Jack Manifold has been running Snowchester! That's probably more news for Tubbo, but I assumed you would appreciate it as well. Snowchester is in good hands."

"Tubbo will be glad," Tommy nodded affirmingly. Sam smiled happily, lightly elbowing Tommy.

Sam stopped walking, "You know Tommy, it's really good to see you again. We've missed you."

Tommy looked around at the other groups of people. He smiled with content. "Yeah. I didn't realize how much I missed everyone else until we came back. I'm kinda glad Tubbo forced me."

Sam barked out a laugh and wrapped an arm around the boy's shoulders, "Well I'm glad Tommy."

Tommy looked up and saw two figures coming over. One dressed in green and the other in rainbow.

"Hey look! Puffy and Tubbo!" Sam pointed. He waved a hand in greeting and Puffy waved back. Tubbo started running over. Tommy hurried to greet his friend.

"Hey Tubbo!" Tommy called, "You good? Like after everything...?"

Tubbo nodded, "Yeah, yeah. Feeling better. Niki went off to find Ghostbur so she put me with Puffy and we thought we'd come find you two."

"Mission accomplished," Sam chuckled. Puffy crossed her arms and nodded at Sam. Tommy was glad to see Puffy again, she had always been kind to him.

"So, whatcha guys up to?" Puffy asked.

Tommy shrugged, "Not much, just chatting." Sam nodded in agreement.

"So how have you been Tommy? Tubbo told me about how you guys have your own cabin and that you're having a nice time." Puffy gestured to Tubbo when she mentioned him.

"Yeah, I mean, he didn't lie." Tommy remarked.

Tubbo smiled excitedly, "And I told her about the bees and the courtyard!"

"We always knew you liked bees, that's no surprise," Sam joked. The four of them broke into a small chorus of laughter.

Puffy pursed her lips, "But on a more serious note, are you guys doing okay? How you're going about your lives, your habits, et cetera." Tubbo and Tommy made eye contact and shrugged indifferently.

"I mean," Tubbo turned back to Puffy, "I think we're fine. Right, Tommy?"

"Yeah, I think so," Tommy concurred.

Sam changed the topic, "Well we want to know what you've been up to! Tell us everything!"

With a laugh, Tommy launched into a story about almost setting the house on fire due to his cooking incompetence, glad to catch up with good friends.

* * *

The sun was starting to set and the day was coming to a close. The moon had begun to rise and Tommy and Tubbo were tired. It had been an overall nice day with some tense moments but what else were they to expect? At least it hadn't been a total bust.

"I think we're ready to head home now," Tubbo said.

Sam and Puffy nodded. Sam spoke for them both, "Yeah of course, of course. We can make sure no one follows you home." Puffy nodded in agreement.

"Thanks you guys," Tommy said, "It means a lot."

"We're glad you guys came to the reunion today," Puffy grinned.

Tubbo nodded vigorously, "We are too, it was pretty nice. I mean, besides the fireworks. That wasn't fun." Tommy rested a hand on Tubbo's shoulder.

"You can come visit any time," Sam offered.

Puffy squeezed Sam's arm and looked back at the boys, "Yes, the Big Innit Hotel is always open."

Tommy and Tubbo nodded appreciatively. They walked back across the field to their horse in comfortable silence. Two by two, Tommy and Tubbo in front, Puffy and Sam following behind. Tommy suddenly felt a looming sense of the tension he had felt earlier that day. Instinctively, he reached over and grabbed Tubbo's hand. Tubbo looked up at him with a smile.

"You feeling clingy?" Tubbo teased.

Tommy smirked to cover his anxiety, "Maybe I am."

Earl nickered at them as they arrived. Tommy and Tubbo greeted him with loving pats and attention.

"Stay safe boys," Puffy said.

Tommy laughed, "We always are Puffy. No need to worry."

Tommy hoisted himself on Earl's back. He reached over to help Tubbo when a threatening voice echoed over the crater of L'manberg.

"Citizens of the Dream SMP!" Technoblade roared, "We have been through many a war and many a battle. We have killed men and women of our own kind! And all of these wars and fights have been spurred by one single cause." He raised his pointer finger and shook it at the sky. Tommy looked to Tubbo, who was clinging to Earl's reins.

Technoblade thrust out his arms, "The man and myth himself, Dream! He is a tyrant and a dictator. You have all fallen victim to his manipulation! He was able to escape from Pandora's Vault because he manipulated you into letting him go. Sure, he seemed docile, but he is a _monster_."

"Tubbo, Tubbo get on the horse," Tommy mumbled, "Tubbo get on the horse now." Earl shifted his hooves uneasily.

"Do you not remember what he did? He stole your most prized possessions and attachments and kept them from you. He has killed and betrayed nearly everyone. And sure, we seem to be at peace, but what you think is peace is only a standstill! We are not truly free until all threats of a dictatorship are gone! We need to take a final stand for ourselves and truly free this SMP of its greatest burden, it's creator!" Technoblade threw back his cloak, revealing a sword hilt. He pulled the sword from his belt and held it aloft for everyone to see. It gleamed menacingly in the light of the sunset.

Tommy's eyes widened, "Tubbo, we need to go. Get on Earl, now!" Tubbo broke from his nervous trance and fumbled, searching for Tommy's hand. Tommy pulled him up on Earl's back so quickly that he almost seemed to fly.

Chaos started to ensue as an angry Dream came running towards Techno. Dream unsheathed an axe of his own. Everyone scattered, screaming and running as Techno charged back at Dream.

"Boys run! Get out of here!" Sam yelled, shooing them away with his arms. Tommy turned Earl on his haunches and cantered down the hill, bolting for home.

When they were at a decent distance, Tubbo asked in bewilderment, "Why did Techno do that?"

"I don't know why, but I had a feeling he was up to something," Tommy scowled.

"I'm sorry," Tubbo sighed, "I should've listened to you earlier."

Tommy shook his head, "It's fine. Too late to change anything now."

After a pause, Tubbo shook Tommy by the sleeve, "Tommy, um, erm, I gotta tell you something real quick."

"What? Do you have to pee?" Tommy snapped back.

"No, um, Tommy, I think we're being followed."

Tommy whipped his head over his shoulder to look back. Sure enough there was a horse following them from a distance with a human on its back.

"Oh fuck," Tommy groaned. He urged Earl on, "Faster boy! Faster!"

Earl's canter broke into a gallop. Tommy stood up into a jockey position, Tubbo following suit. The horse that was on their tail didn't speed up, which was good. But the problem was that they were close enough to home that their pursuers probably had already figured out where they lived. You could already see the cottage up ahead. They slowed down at the house and dismounted as fast as possible.

"I'll get the bow and arrow," Tubbo volunteered, sprinting inside.

Tommy tied Earl up to the side of the house, hands fumbling and shaking as he saw the other horse grow closer. He looked back up to see if he could get an idea as to who followed them, but the person (or actually two people, Tommy observed) were wearing long, hooded cloaks. They slowed down to a halt as they approached Tommy.

 _Tubbo better get back here with that bow_ , Tommy thought to himself. The figures dismounted their horse silently and walked closer to Tommy. He stumbled backwards onto the front stoop in fear.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. It's just us," a familiar female voice said.

Tommy narrowed his eyes, "Puffy?"

And sure enough, Puffy pulled back the hood of her cloak and revealed herself. She tapped the other figure next to her, signaling for them to lower their hood, who was none other than Sam.

"Sam!" Tommy exclaimed, his face lighting up. He went to go hug him when he was interrupted by loud footsteps.

Tubbo charged out the front door with an armed bow, "Alright, who's there? I'm not afraid to hurt you!"

"Tubbo, Tubbo, calm down, it's just us!" Sam reassured him.

Tubbo's eyes became less wild and he returned to himself. He lowered the bow and removed the arrow. He let out a deep sigh of relief.

Puffy began to stroke Earl's neck, "No one else followed us, you're safe."

"Thank god for that," Tubbo scoffed, "But you scared us half to death!"

"We didn't want to make it obvious we followed you guys," Puffy explained.

Sam nodded and pulled Tommy into a hug, "But we did want to make sure you two were okay."

"We're alright. Thanks guys," Tommy said. He pulled back from the hug and walked up the front stairs to Tubbo.

Tubbo lowered his voice to a whisper, "Tommy what do we do? They know where we live now!"

"It's just Sam and Puffy, we can trust them. It could be worse, Sapnap could've followed us," Tommy reasoned. Tubbo bobbed his head in consideration.

"Fair is fair. But what do we do?"

Tommy lifted his head to their other friends. They were waiting for a response. But the looks etched into their faces were kind and concerned, not judgmental and threatening. They just wanted to help and Tommy appreciated that.

"I say we let them in. Obviously not to stay forever, but just for the moment," Tommy decided. Tubbo nodded tersely.

Tubbo went to address Sam and Puffy, "Come on in. We'll get some snacks."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *maniacal laughter*
> 
> Holy crap, this chapter was long. Alright, now that the plot is kicking into gear, here is your friendly reminder that I am open to constructive criticism and would love to hear feedback in the comments!


	6. Tension and Affection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mild cursing

If you could summarize the meeting in Tommy and Tubbo's house in one word, it would be awkward. Tubbo and Tommy were very tense, and Sam and Puffy tried being as lenient and understanding as possible. Sam and Puffy sat at the two chairs in the kitchen, eating carrot sticks. Tommy and Tubbo stood by the sink. Gingerly, Tubbo was sipping a glass of water. Tommy drummed his fingers on the counter anxiously.

"You boys have a lovely home," Sam spoke up.

Tubbo nodded curtly, "Thanks."

Tommy looked to their friends sitting at their table. He tried to avoid eye contact but inspected their expressions. They seemed kind. They seemed caring. He looked over at Tubbo to see him with a tough expression. He knew Tubbo was really intimidated, but he was refusing to let Sam and Puffy see that. Tommy squeezed Tubbo's forearm to grab his attention. Tubbo looked over at him. Tommy smiled reassuringly. For a minute they talked with only their eyes, with no need for verbal communication.

"Sorry, we're a bit tense," Tubbo apologized.

"That's alright," Puffy replied, "We get that. Let us know when you're ready to talk."

Tommy glanced back to Tubbo, looking for confirmation. Tubbo inhaled deeply and looked between their friends and Tommy. He nodded slowly.

Tommy clasped his hands together, "We're good now."

Sam nodded and took a bite from a carrot, "Do you boys want to talk about anything in particular?"

"Well, um," Tommy started, "Is everybody okay? Tubbo and I kinda just ditched everyone else. I feel bad."

"Tommy, it was perfectly okay. You two leaving was not selfish," Puffy reassured him.

Tubbo shifted his feet uncomfortably, "It feels like it."

"No." Sam shut them down. "It was not. There was danger and you were getting out of the way. That's not selfish."

"I still want to know what's going on," Tommy said. Tubbo nodded in agreement.

"I think it would be best if you boys stayed here," Sam advised.

Puffy waved a carrot in the air as she spoke, "Well how about we think of a compromise?"

Tommy clicked his tongue with suspicion, "You'll still get your way somehow, and we'll know nothing."

"We genuinely want to listen to you Tommy," Sam replied. Tommy crossed his arms and puffed his chest defiantly.

Tubbo sighed, "What's your idea?"

"Well, how about someone goes back? Not you boys, but one of us. After scouting out what's gone on, they come back and report," Puffy suggested.

Immediately, Sam raised a hand, "I can go."

"But what if you lie to us?" Tommy protested, leaning forward. Tubbo set his cup down and took Tommy's forearm.

Puffy shook her head and bit another carrot, "No. We promise to be up front with you. You deserve honesty."

"You have been lied to too many times," Sam added. Tommy knew he was right. But even if Sam and Puffy were a comforting presence, he didn't know if it was wise to trust them completely right away. Tommy wasn't about to be manipulated again. He knew Tubbo felt the same.

Tubbo pulled Tommy to him and whispered, "Look I'm still nervous too, but even _you_ said that it's Sam and Puffy. They're our friends. Let's just try." Tommy leaned away from Tubbo and nodded hesitantly.

"Alright," Tommy agreed. Tubbo squeezed his hand. Tommy gave Tubbo a small smile.

Puffy beamed, "Thanks you two. Now when Sam goes, is it alright if I stay here?"

Tubbo and Tommy shrugged, "Sure," they said in unison.

"I'll get ready to go," Sam decided. He got up from his chair and began to gather his things. Tommy felt a pang of guilt and worry. He walked up to Sam.

Tommy placed an arm on his friend, "Please make sure they're okay."

"I will," Sam promised, "don't worry kid."

Sam gathered his things and weapons. Puffy, Tubbo, and Tommy escorted him outside. Sam reattached the cloak to his back and mounted Puffy's horse, Diamond. Tommy looked at Sam. His expression was hard, he seemed determined. Tommy was grateful for what Sam was doing for them, but he couldn't fathom why. Of all people to care for and assist, why himself?

"I'll be back in a few hours, see you soon," Sam told them.

Puffy pat Sam's thigh, "I'll make sure the boys are alright." They exchanged a look. Tommy couldn't really decipher it, but it was some kind of "look" that communicated a specific message.

With a final wave, Sam turned Diamond around and headed back to L'manburg once again. Tommy watched Sam canter off and grow smaller in the distance. He furrowed his brow and tensed his shoulders. He felt a hand and turned to see Tubbo.

"I think Sam will be okay," Tubbo said. Tommy just nodded in response. He turned to Puffy who was wearing a tired smile. Puffy nodded in agreement.

She clasped her hands together, "Do you want to do anything with me? Just hang out?"

"We could give you a tour?" Tommy suggested.

Tubbo nodded vigorously, "Yeah! You can actually see the bees!"

"I would love to," Puffy chuckled.

Tubbo hurried to the Bee Courtyard with Tommy close behind. Puffy tagged along at a walk and followed the boys to the apiary. Tommy looked back to see Puffy. She still had a tired smile. It wasn't happy, it wasn't sad, it was just there. She looked pensive. What Puffy was thinking, Tommy couldn't guess. Puffy gave him a small wave and Tommy smiled. Somehow, Puffy was reassuring him. The feeling of comfort did not settle easily, that's for sure, and he was reluctant to appreciate it, but he was grateful either way.

"Hey guys! We're back!" Tubbo called as he stepped into the Bee Courtyard. Puffy jogged to catch up and walked in beside Tommy.

The bees buzzed, excited at their return. With a laugh, Tubbo went to greet them all. And almost instantly, Tommy saw Barry whizz over. He slammed into Tommy's chest, filled to the brim with excitement.

Tommy laughed, "Hey Barry, good to see you."

Puffy smiled and asked, "This is Barry?"

"Yeah, he's..." Tommy paused and looked back to the bee. Barry stared up at him with wide eyes filled with wonder. Tommy smiled, "he's my friend."

"That's good." Puffy rested a hand on Tommy's shoulder. They heard Tubbo laughing on the other side of the Bee Courtyard and went over to check on him.

Tubbo waved a bee out of his hair, "Hey guys! I was just checking up on the food and maintenance."

"The bees are adorable Tubbo," Puffy commented, glancing around at their surroundings, "The Bee Courtyard is too."

"Thanks! Tommy and I spent a while on it," Tubbo replied.

"Say Tubbo," Puffy continued, "why do you love bees so much?"

Tubbo shrugged, "I dunno, I kinda just always have."

"It's because one time when he was a kid he made friends with a bumblebee and talked to it everyday whenever he was lonely. Tubbo's loved bees ever since," Tommy explained. Puffy and Tubbo laughed in response.

Puffy clapped Tommy on the back, "Guess you know your friend better than he does."

"He sure does," Tubbo replied. Tommy laughed and saw Barry fly away from him. He watched the bee and zoned out for a moment as Puffy and Tubbo continued to talk about bees.

Puffy poked Tommy lightly for his attention, "Hey Tommy, kiddo, you wanna head to the daisy meadow?"

"Sure!" Tommy broke into a smile. Together the three of them left the Bee Courtyard, waving to the bees in farewell as they went.

"Let's go!" Tubbo exclaimed, "Follow me!" he took off towards the daisy meadow, Puffy breaking into a run after him.

The grass rustled in the wind. Green leaves blew around, broken off of trees from the gusts of air. Trees bent down over the edges of the field, creating small shadows along the sides. The sun was bright, reflecting off the shiny blades of grass. The sky was clear and dotted with a few small clouds. A glittery dragonfly danced past Tommy's ear, zipping into the distance. With another wind blow, Tommy let it push him forward to break into a run, following Puffy and Tubbo.

He raced to the flower meadow, holding his arms out to each of his sides. Tommy tipped his head back joyously and let out a carefree laugh. He leaped over a small puddle. The sun accidentally caught his eye, but he quickly blinked it away. He swerved back and forth, arms spread as if he were an airplane. When he reached his friends, Tubbo had already whipped up a flower crown for Puffy.

"It's really pretty, thank you Tubbo," Puffy giggled, delicately placing it on her head. Tubbo smiled at the praise.

He bowed jokingly, "Of course m'lady."

"You're a wizard," Tommy puffed, a little short of breath, "How do you make daisy crowns so fast?"

"Just a little pinch of magic," Tubbo laughed. He winked at the blonde boy.

Puffy picked another flower and handed it to Tubbo, "You should make a crown for Sam so he can have one when he gets back."

"Oooh, yeah!" Tubbo grabbed the flower from the woman and immediately set to work. Puffy began to carefully select other flowers for a bouquet to take back home.

Tommy didn't feel like picking flowers, but he was perfectly happy soaking up the moment. First he looked at Puffy. Her bouncy white floof (or her hair, but Tommy liked calling it her floof) shimmered in the sunlight, the rainbow dyed tips glossy. He couldn't understand how Puffy wasn't hot in her pirate getup, but she never complained. She was smiling contently at the flowers. Tommy wondered how she could be so at peace.

Tommy then looked to Tubbo. With a bright smile, he was finishing up Sam's flower crown already, gingerly tying the stems to one another. His brown eyes twinkled with childlike wonder and concentration. His long bangs drifted into his face and he would occasionally blow or shake them away. Tommy smiled at his best friend. He recalled what Wilbur had said, oh so long ago:

"Platonic soulmates". Wilbur had explained that it was soulmates, just no romantic feelings involved. Tommy never believed in soulmates at all, let alone that they could be platonic. Wilbur always said Niki was his platonic soulmate. Niki had agreed. Wilbur had also said Tubbo was Tommy's soulmate. Tommy had just brushed it off carelessly, but the more terrible shit he and Tubbo had been through together, the more he came to understand what Wilbur meant.

Tubbo felt like home. He felt like comfort, a rock to ground you, a soft fire crackling in the fireplace that kept you warm and safe. He was the one person who would be there for him and love him no matter what. Tubbo was his home. It was never L'manberg or Pogtopia, not even his cottage he lived in now. It was Tubbo. _His_ Tubbo. As long as he had his Tubbo, he would be okay.

"Tommy, I have a crown for you!" Tubbo smiled, walking over to his friend. With a few tears in his eyes, Tommy wrapped his arms around Tubbo's neck, knocking the flower crown away. Puffy picked it up with a laugh, handing it to Tubbo.

"Come on boys," Puffy said, "We should head back now. Sam could be home soon."

The boys agreed. Puffy led the way back across the flower field. Tommy and Tubbo tagged behind, walking in sync with one another.

"Hey, are you good?" Tubbo whispered to Tommy.

Tommy looked the brunette up and down with a smile, "Never better." Tubbo smiled and placed the flower crown on Tommy's head.

"You're so clingy," Tubbo chuckled.

Tommy faked offense and elbowed Tubbo, "How dare you? I am not clingy!"

"Yeah okay," Tubbo snorted, "And I don't like bees." Tommy rolled his eyes and kept walking. Tubbo laughed at his friend's defeat.

The trio reached the cottage once again and just as they did, they could make out Puffy's horse, Diamond, approaching from a distance.

"There's Sam!" Tubbo called, pointing towards the field. He waved a hand, but Sam was too far away to see it.

They watched Sam come closer and eventually he rode up to them. Happily they went to greet him, but Sam's face told a different story.

"Sam, are you okay?" Puffy asked, concerned. She reached out to help Sam but he waved her hand away.

Tommy's brow furrowed, "Sam what's going on?"

"It's not good," Sam shook his head, face pale, "It is not good."

* * *

"So there's another war?" Tubbo asked hesitantly.

Sam sighed exhaustedly. He rubbed his eyes and replied, "It looks like it, yes."

Tubbo stared at his feet, "I can't believe it..."

"I can't believe it!" Tommy reiterated, throwing up his arms angrily, "How can this happen _again_? Hasn't anyone learned anything?"

Puffy shook her head, "We don't know either, Tommy."

"Technoblade is so fucking stupid," Tommy grumbled. Tubbo rested a shaky hand on Tommy's shoulder in an attempt to calm him down.

"At least they're all okay," Tubbo whispered.

Sam nodded, "From what Fundy and Niki said, yes, everyone is okay."

Puffy turned to Sam, "What else is there?" Sam met her eyes. They were tired, sad, angry, and hurt. Tommy didn't like that look one bit.

"People sided with Dream."

Tommy snapped to attention instantly. Fear, confusion, hurt, and terror filled his body. Dream? People siding with him? No, it couldn't be. But Tubbo spoke up first.

"No. No you have to be joking. People couldn't...could they?" Tubbo shook his head in disbelief.

Sam tightened his jaw, "I said I'd be straight with you, Tubbo. It's true. At least, from what Fundy and Niki said. And they have no reason to lie."

"Who-" Tommy flared his nostrils, "-is on Dream's side?"

"Everyone not on Techno's," Sam shrugged helplessly.

Tommy slammed his hands on the table, leaning forward, "And who is that?" Tubbo and Puffy looked taken aback at Tommy. Puffy stepped away from him.

"Not Fundy and Niki, that's for certain. I think George is on Dream's side, maybe Purpled as well. There are others, but I don't know who," Sam admitted. He met Tommy's eyes with an expression of pain etched into his face. Sam looked so much older than he really was, Tommy felt bad.

Tommy growled, "If Techno hadn't pulled that trick, we wouldn't be in this mess. I can't believe him. He's so goddamn stupid!" He slumped back against the kitchen counter, crossing his arms.

Puffy scuffed her shoe, "We know Tommy. We know." She turned to Sam, "But then again, Techno does have a point. We won't be truly free until Dream is gone, he's a curse."

Tommy picked his nails anxiously, "I mean, yeah I guess. What was the whole fight about again?"

"Dream is mad because Techno deliberately disobeyed his orders at the reunion," Sam explained, "Techno brought a weapon, Dream specifically said in the invitation not to do that. Dream said it was his server, so Techno needed to obey his orders. Techno started violence that was unnecessary. For once, Dream must not have had any ulterior motive."

Tommy scoffed, "I doubt that." He made eye contact with Tubbo, who was only showing worry.

"What about Techno?" Tubbo asked, not breaking eye contact with Tommy.

Sam sniffed and itched his nose before continuing, "Techno thinks Dream is the plague. He hates his guts. That's all the reasoning Techno needs to wreak havoc anyways."

"But haven't they worked together before?" Puffy raised an eyebrow.

"They have, yes," Sam clarified, "But Technoblade has worked with us before too. He's betrayed us, hasn't he? Techno does whatever he has to do to get his way. Even if it means working temporarily with the future enemy."

A silence fell among the room. Tommy rubbed his arm awkwardly.

"So what are we gonna do?" Tubbo piped up.

Tommy grabbed Tubbo's hand and met his eyes, "We stay as far away as we can."

"That sounds like a good plan," Puffy agreed. Sam nodded, clasping his hands together.

Tommy turned to Puffy and Sam, "I don't want you guys to get hurt."

Puffy and Sam gave each other a look, nodded, and turned back. Sam suggested, "Well if you two are okay with it, we could stay here. Heading home is probably dangerous."

"Yes, of course," Tubbo instantly agreed. He looked at Tommy, who nodded. He wanted Puffy and Sam to stay too, they couldn't risk their friend's safety.

Tommy pointed down the hall, "We have a small couch and living room. If you don't mind sleeping there or anything, you can."

Puffy smiled sympathetically, "Yeah sure, we can make ourselves comfy there. May Diamond have a stall?"

"Mhm, we have a free one," Tubbo replied. Puffy nodded silently in thanks.

"I'll put her in there, I'll be back." Puffy put on her hat and walked out the door.

The sun had set quite a bit ago, and Tommy was getting a little tired. He could tell Tubbo was too. With his eyes, he asked Tubbo if he wanted to go to bed. Tubbo nodded.

Tommy turned to Sam, "We're a bit tired."

"Of course, it's been quite a day. Get some rest," Sam nodded and waved towards the direction of the stairs. Tommy was a little surprised Sam didn't object, but he was grateful.

"Thank you," Tubbo smiled, "G'night Sam!" He and Tommy headed towards the stairs together.

"Wait, boys!" Sam called. Tommy and Tubbo turned back around to face him.

Sam closed his eyes and sighed heavily, "I'll tell Puffy this later, but there is one more thing you should know. This is the endgame. Techno...he lost his first life."

Tommy's eyes widened. He gulped nervously and nodded in recognition to Sam. Instinctively, he grabbed Tubbo by the shoulder, guiding him up the stairs.

Once they reached their rooms Tubbo spoke up, "Techno lost a life?"

"Apparently the bastard can die," Tommy grumbled. He placed his hands on his hips, chuckling bitterly.

"When you're ready, we can talk," Tubbo offered. He walked into his bedroom and shut the door. Tommy inhaled sharply and went to get ready for bed as well. When he was done, he went to Tubbo's door. Tommy raised a hand to knock, but Tubbo opened the door before he could.

Tommy gave his friend a quick smile, "Hey, Tubs." Tubbo didn't answer but waved a hand inside his room, welcoming Tommy in. Tommy plopped himself down on Tubbo's bed and the older boy shut the door.

"Another war..." Tubbo mumbled hoarsely. He shivered and grabbed his arms, "I can't believe it."

Tommy slumped over his knees, propping his elbows on them. "Neither can I."

"It's so stupid," Tubbo continued, "I thought that the wars were done!"

"Look, I did too. But maybe if we hadn't gone to the reunion, none of this would've happened," Tommy mused.

Tubbo walked over to Tommy, "Techno still would've done what he did. Us being there wouldn't have stopped him from ruining the reuinon."

"But maybe he wouldn't have gone through with it!" Tommy threw his arms out angrily, "He literally talked to me and basically told me what he was going to do. I tried to warn you, Tubbo! But you refused to listen!"

"Tommy, it wouldn't have done anything!" Tubbo protested.

Tommy jumped to his feet, "Tubbo, we would still be safe! No one would have followed us home, we would be happy, we would be in wonderfully ignorant bliss. That was the whole point of coming here and starting a new life!"

"We did get to see Puffy and Sam," Tubbo whispered nervously. He reached out a hand to Tommy. Tommy swatted it away.

"No Tubbo, no. It doesn't matter." Tommy walked across the room and leaned face forwards against the wall. He held back a sob, choking it down. Tubbo still noticed.

Tubbo walked over to Tommy and rubbed gentle circles on his back, "Toms, it's okay. You can cry." And reluctantly, Tommy did. With a sob he sunk to the floor and Tubbo followed him.

"Technoblade was a horrible brother. He never cared," Tommy said between his cries. Tubbo reached over silently and wiped a tear that was trailing down Tommy's cheek. "If he did, none of this would be happening. Nothing that had ever happened before would have happened! He would let us live in peace." Tommy sat back on his haunches. Sniffling, he angrily wiped his tears away.

"I'm sorry," Tubbo apologized nervously.

Tommy immediately went to reassure the other boy, "Don't be. If it's anyone's fault, it is definitely not yours."

"No, I just mean in general. I hate this, I just want it all to be over." Tubbo tucked his legs up against him, curling into a little ball.

A small pause.

"I'm gonna kill that green son of a bitch if it's the last thing I do," Tommy vowed to himself. He sniffed angrily and wiped away another tear.

Tubbo nodded, "And I'll be here for you. As your best friend."

Tommy made eye contact with Tubbo. With tear filled eyes, they smiled lovingly at each other. Tubbo reached over and placed his hand on top of Tommy's, tracing his thumb along the side of the blonde's hand.

"It's us versus the world, right?" Tommy asked.

Tubbo nodded in confirmation, "Always."

The two of them sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, just glad that the other was there.

"You should get some sleep," Tommy said.

Tubbo agreed, "As long as you do too." Tommy stood up, helping the brunette of the floor. He gave Tubbo a quick goodnight hug.

"Sleep well. If you have a nightmare, come to me," Tommy instructed.

Tubbo smiled, "Same with you."

"Goodnight Tubbo."

"G'night Tommy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? Even amongst the angst there was still some small fluff. I make sure my boys are happy to some degree ;)


	7. Missing and Wishing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Trauma-Induced Flashback (not really a panic attack though)
> 
> I totally did not forget to name this chapter, now way, you didn't see that!

Tommy was woken by abrupt shaking.

"Tommy, Tommy, Tommy get up!" Tommy shot up looking around, only to see Tubbo.

He rubbed the sleepiness from his eyes, "Tubbo, what is it big man?"

Tubbo's eyes were wide, his nostrils blown. Panting, he replied, "It's Sam. He's gone."

Tommy tore his covers off of himself and leaped up from his bed, "What are you talking about?"

"Exactly what I said. Puffy and I can't find him anywhere!" Tubbo exclaimed. Without any hesitance, Tommy dashed down the stairs, Tubbo close behind. Puffy was pacing nervously in the kitchen.

Tommy looked to either of his sides. To his horror, Sam really wasn't there. "Puffy what's going on?" He demanded.

"Sam went hunting this morning. He took Diamond with him but Diamond came back by herself! I'm really worried." She bit her fingernails and looked out the window. Tommy cursed.

Tubbo grabbed the sides of his head, "What are we gonna do?"

"I have to find him. I have to," Tommy stated.

Puffy wrung her hands, " _We_ have to. Either we all go, or no one goes. I'm not sending any of you boys out there by yourselves."

"I don't want to put you in any more danger!" Tommy retorted.

Tubbo shook his head, "Going alone is far more dangerous. Look what happened to Sam!"

Tommy sighed defeatedly. He hoped Sam was alright. It was his fault Sam was staying with them, he felt obligated to rescue him.

"Fine, we'll all go. We can take Earl and Diamond," Tommy decided.

Puffy nodded determinedly, "Armor up boys, I'll meet you outside."

Tommy walked over to the storage closet with Tubbo. Tommy looked around the corner to see his Netherite armor. He inhaled shakily. Tommy managed to slip on the trousers and boots without having a panic attack. He reached out and slowly ran his hand down the chestplate. In the reflection of the chestplate Tommy could almost see the flying bombshells, blood pools, and clashing swords. He was pulled back into the memories of war. He tried avoiding the flashbacks but it was too difficult. The sights and sounds overwhelmed him.

The chestplate clattered to the ground. Tommy stumbled backwards, clasping his hands over his ears but to no avail.

_Let's be the bad guys!_

No.

_It's me and you, versus Dream._

No.

_Don't you see history repeating itself?_

No!

_It was never meant to be._

NO.

_You want to be a hero, Tommy? Then DIE like one!_

NO.

_The disks were worth more than you ever were!_

"NO!"

"Tommy!"

With the cry of his name, he was ripped out of his thoughts. Tommy looked around in anticipation but the only person he saw was Tubbo. He gulped.

"Tommy, you're alright big man. It's okay. You're alright." Tubbo pulled Tommy into a hug. Stiffly, Tommy stumbled into the shorter boy's embrace.

Puffy barged in, "Are you two okay in here?"

"We're fine," Tommy said, "We're alright." He pulled away from Tubbo.

Tubbo picked up the chestplate Tommy dropped and raised it in front of him. Slowly Tommy took it and pulled it over his head. He remembered the compression of a chestplate. It had been so long since he had worn one. The oxygen seemed to have been completely squeezed out of his lungs. Tubbo handed Tommy a helmet. Tommy took either side of the helmet and inspected it. The glint of the enchanted Netherite was threatening. Before Tommy had another flashback, he quickly placed it on his head.

"I'll get some other things, then we can head out," Tubbo told them.

Tommy nodded, "I'm gonna get something from my room, I'll be back." He left the storage closet and hurried up the stairs. Tommy walked across his room to a small chest in the back.

His sword, Nightmare. It had actually been Dream's old sword. Tommy had stolen it from him after he had gotten Mellohi and Cat back for good. Slowly, Tommy unlocked the chest. He was hesitant to release this ancient demon of the past. Quickly, Tommy thrust open the top of the chest and staggered backwards. Slowly, he crept towards the chest. He leaned forward cautiously, and lo and behold, there was the Netherite sword.

Nightmare gleamed with the aggression of a serial killer. With the aggression of _Dream_. Tommy didn't want to use Nightmare, but it was the best sword he had. Plus, his other swords had either broken due to durability issues or he had destroyed them. Nightmare was the only one he had kept. It didn't suit him, but Tommy had no choice.

Slowly, he reached into the chest and gingerly lifted the sword. It was lighter than Tommy remembered. Tommy twirled the sword in his fingertips. He observed the sharp blade and tilted it so the sun would bounce off it in different ways. Tommy met his own eyes in the reflection of the blade. He hadn't been decked out in Netherite armor in 3 years. It was horrifyingly nostalgic.

Nightmare seemed so much like it contained a part of Dream, as if he had embedded his soul into the sword. Tommy promised he'd only really use the blade as a last resort. He would do anything to avoid becoming like Dream. Gently, Tommy sheathed Nightmare and headed back down the stairs.

"You ready to go?" Puffy called as Tommy reached the foot of the staircase.

Tommy gave her and Tubbo a sharp nod, "Let's go find Sam."

The three of them walked outside. It was still early in the day and the sun had just finished rising. The colors of the sunrise were fading, but a few light streaks of pink still lined the shadows of the clouds.

"Make sure you eat your soup. I have some for you both," Puffy said. She handed Tubbo and Tommy each a canister of vegetable soup. Tubbo eagerly started to slurp the soup. Tommy gave the canister a sniff. It smelled warm and delicious. But Tommy was worried for Sam, and the anxiety pushed his hunger away. He opened his mouth to protest, but Puffy gave him a motherly glare.

"Do we have to eat it all now?" Tommy asked with a small inflection of a whine at the end of the sentence.

Puffy pulled herself on top of Diamond. She sighed, "No, but just make sure you have enough."

With a groan, Tommy pulled himself on top of Earl, helping Tubbo climb on behind him.

“You boys ready?” Puffy asked kindly. Tommy turned back to look to Tubbo, who gave him a small nod.

Tommy replied, “We are.”

Then they were off. Puffy kicked Diamond into motion first, Earl followed close behind. So the trio and their horses headed back to L’manberg in the wee hours of the morning, hoping to save a friend.

* * *

L’manberg was in even worse shape than it had been before. You could tell something serious had just gone down. The air was uncomfortably quiet and Tommy could even make out a few scattered bloodstains on some rocks. He shivered in disgust.

”This doesn’t look good,” Tubbo whispered.

Tommy glanced around the crater, “Let’s see if anyone is around who can help.”

They approached the hole and as they got closer they saw a tall flagpole with a white piece of cloth hanging haphazardly. Due to the still air, the makeshift flag wasn’t even flapping in the breeze. Tommy saw a figure sitting beneath the pole, but Tubbo spoke up first.

”Look!” Tubbo pointed, “I think it’s Quackity.”

Puffy nodded, “Let’s talk to him.”

”What if he’s working for Dream?” Tommy hesitated. He clenched Earl’s reins tighter.

”I doubt it. This is Quackity we’re talking about,” Tubbo reasoned, “He hates Dream.”

”We’ll be careful Tommy, we promise,” Puffy reassured him. Tubbo rested a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. Tommy let out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding.

”Alright,” Tommy obliged. The three of them made their way over to Quackity. Tommy hoped that he wasn’t going to suddenly try and kill them.

Quackity looked up, “Waddya know? Puffy, Tubbo, Tommy. Good to see you’re alright.” He smiled in greeting.

”We came to find Sam,” Tommy demanded, “Do you know where he is?”

”He went missing this morning,” Tubbo further explained.

Quackity thought for a moment, “I believe so. I didn’t exactly _see_ him but I think I _heard_ him.”

”What was going on?” Puffy questioned.

”Wasn’t too good,” Quackity admitted, “Sounded like he was calling for help. I do think I saw Foolish though, he probably has better answers.”

Tommy nodded in acknowledgement, “Thanks Big Q.”

”No mention it. Sam’s a good dude.” The black haired boy adjusted his beanie. Tommy was a bit more comfortable now, Quackity was probably not on Dream’s side.

Puffy gestured towards the flag Quackity was under, “What’s up with this?”

”We agreed that L’manberg was kinda like the Holy Land. For now, no fighting here. We didn’t want to destroy it further,” Quackity explained. He pulled his sword from his sheath, laying it across his lap.

”So no battles here?” Tubbo asked.

Quackity shook his head, “Nope.”

”Anything else?” Tommy raised an eyebrow.

”Dream got some people on his side. I don’t understand how, but he managed to.” Quackity rolled his eyes in clear disgust. He clearly wasn’t on Dream’s side. “Technoblade lost his first life if you didn’t already know.”

”Sam told us yesterday,” Tubbo replied.

Quackity grunted and continued, “I’m with Techno though. Don’t worry, Techno’s side has way more people. Nobody’s neutral I don’t think. We’re all tired of fighting and just want this to end.” He shook his head and chuckled softly. “It’s probably our last hurrah.”

Tommy hummed pensively. He didn’t make eye contact with Quackity as Puffy continued to make conversation. He still couldn’t believe Techno had lost a life. His brother? Dying? It seemed so surreal.

Tommy zoned back in to the conversation as Quackity directed them to Foolish. “I saw him head somewhere that way: in the woods. I don’t know much else, but he was over there.” He waved his hand vaguely.

“We really appreciate it Big Q,” Tubbo smiled. He nodded at Quackity who nodded back.

“Be careful, I don’t know who Foolish is working for.” Quackity drummed his fingers on the side of the sword blade.

“Probably Dream,” Tommy spat. He bit his cheek to keep himself from cussing Foolish out more. Feeling his tension, Tubbo squeezed his shoulder affectionately.

Puffy turned Diamond towards the woods, “Come on boys.” She smiled at Quackity, “Truly, thank you.” Quackity nodded affirmingly in response.

The three of them gave Quackity a friendly wave in farewell and headed off into the woods. The trees were thick, the dark greens shadowing their surroundings. A few light green leaves let the light pass through. Otherwise, the sun barely managed to peep through the tree cover. Tommy knew finding Foolish would be difficult.

”Where could he be?” Tubbo voiced, leaning further into Tommy’s back. He wrapped his arms further around Tommy’s stomach.

Puffy slowed Diamond down to a walk. Tommy and Tubbo slowed down as well. “Just keep your eyes open. He’s gotta be here somewhere,” Puffy sighed.

Slowly they continued through the forest, venturing deeper and deeper. Tommy couldn’t remember coming here before. Maybe the forest was new? He didn’t know. Earl and Diamond scrambled across and around stone and rocks, meandering through the trees. Tommy scanned for the smallest of rustles in the bushes.

Tubbo aggressively poked Tommy’s shoulder. “Stop, stop, stop, stop.” He leaned forward and pulled Earl to a halt. Puffy furrowed her brow and stopped Diamond as well.

”Look.” Tubbo pointed across the bushes. Tommy and Puffy squinted to where he had pointed. They saw a small hint of bright and shiny gold.

Tommy grit his teeth, “Foolish.”

Puffy dismounted slowly and pulled her sword from its sheath. She turned to Tommy and Tubbo, jerking her head towards the moving gold glint. Tubbo slid off Earl’s back and hurried up to Puffy. Tommy followed suit.

Quietly they crept up on the gold figure. As they got closer they could make out some more of the person. Sure enough, it looked like Foolish. To Tommy’s dismay, he seemed to be alone.

”Tubbo, go left. Tommy stay center. I’ll go to the right. On my signal, we jump,” Puffy instructed. The boys nodded and moved to their positions.

With a shaky breath, Tommy reached for his sword hilt. He wrapped his fingers around it hesitantly, drawing it from the sheath slowly. He looked over to Tubbo for reassurance, but his eyes were glued to Foolish. Tommy exhaled and fully pulled out Nightmare as he did so. With a small _shing_ the sword was in the air and ready to attack.

Puffy whistled. It startled Foolish. He looked around nervously. Tubbo and Tommy ducked behind the bushes desperately. Foolish shrugged it off and began to walk away. Puffy raised three fingers into the air and waved her arm down fast.

The three of them lunged.

Tubbo leaped into action, instantly pinning Foolish to the ground. Puffy quickly took Foolish’s items and scattered them out of his reach. Foolish let out a cry and struggled. Tommy grabbed Foolish’s wrists and helped Tubbo thrust him face-first against a tree.

Spitting out tree bark and dirt, Foolish grunted, “Let me go assholes!”

”Not until you answer some questions first,” Tommy tightened his grip around Foolish’s wrists. Tubbo leaned further against Foolish, digging his heels into the dirt to support himself.

Puffy brought up her sword to Foolish. She scowled, “Where is Sam?”

”Sam? What do you mean? I-I haven’t seen Sam in ages!” Foolish protested. Tommy and Tubbo further pushed him against the tree.

”Liar,” Tommy hissed.

Tubbo glared darkly, “We aren’t letting you go until you give us an answer.”

”You’re not getting one!” Foolish exclaimed.

Puffy pressed her sword tip to Foolish’s cheek. “I suggest you start talking, pal. We’re not afraid to take a life from you.”

“Fine, fine!” Foolish caved in, “You win! We kidnapped Sam, he’s hidden.”

”Where?” Tubbo pressed on, digging his elbow between Foolish’s shoulder blades.

With a grunt the totem hybrid replied, “In a cave. He’s locked in a cave.”

Tommy rolled his eyes, ”Where is said cave?” Foolish shook his head and closed his eyes in defiance. Puffy dug the sword tip further into his cheek. A dot of blood appeared.

”It isn’t far!” Foolish squeaked, “It’s in these woods! Now can you please let me go?”

Tommy and Tubbo exchanged a look. The two turned to Puffy. She moved her sword down and stepped back. Tubbo moved away from Foolish. Aggressively, Tommy shoved Foolish to the ground.

”You’d better not be lying,” Tommy crossed his arms.

Quivering, Foolish pleaded, “I’m being honest! Please, you gotta believe me. Please, just let me go. I’ll leave you guys be, just don’t kill me, please!”

”We’re not that cruel.” Tubbo sheathed his sword and helped Foolish off the ground. “Go. Before we change our minds.”

Without another word Foolish scrambled off.

"Let's go find this cave," Tommy said. The three of them walked back to Diamond and Earl, remounting their horses.

As they continued walking through the forest, looking for a cave, Tommy noticed Tubbo was clinging extra tight to him. He looked over his shoulder and whispered, "You good, big man?"

"Yeah, I'm alright. It's just been a while since we've done an interrogation, you know? Feels a little strange." Tubbo rested his head on Tommy's shoulder.

Suddenly, an arrow whizzed inches in front of Tommy's face, hitting a tree. Tommy halted Earl and snapped his head in the direction the arrow had come from. Puffy turned back to see the arrow, inhaled sharply and looked in the same direction. Tubbo sat up straighter, knuckles white as he gripped Tommy's shirt.

Out from behind a bush, a pink haired girl appeared, with a fox hybrid behind her.

"Tommy? Tubbo? Puffy?"

Puffy's eyes widened, "Niki? Fundy?"

"Wha-what are you doing out here?" Fundy asked, his tail twitching behind him.

Tommy sighed, "Looking for Awesamdude. He's been captured."

"We just interrogated Foolish," Tubbo added on, "He's working for Dream."

Niki cursed quietly to herself, lowering her bow. She turned to Fundy who nodded in some sort of agreement with her.

Niki jerked her head towards herself, "Come with us."


	8. Reveals and Deals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being slow with updates recently! I got distracted with a oneshot (now turned twoshot that I have to finish) and y'know, school and all that ish. Here's the newest chapter!

Tommy had no idea where they were going. Tubbo, Puffy, and himself had just followed Niki and Fundy blindly. He suddenly wondered if it was a trap. But he remembered how disgusted Niki had looked at the mention of Foolish siding with Dream, and pushed the thought aside.

"Where are we headed?" Tubbo piped up. He leaned around Tommy's shoulder to look at Niki and Fundy.

Without turning around Fundy replied, "Just a little further, we'll be there soon."

Tommy looked around. It was oddly familiar. He couldn't quite place it, but he had _definitely_ been here before. It frustrated him that he couldn't decipher exactly what. Soon, they came to a small clearing that revealed a huge ravine. It dawned on him.

_Oh._

Tommy turned to the other boy behind him. Tubbo's eyes were wide with apprehension. Tommy made eye contact with his friend, slightly turning Tubbo's chin to face him. Tubbo gulped. Tommy gave him a small reassuring smile. He turned back and his face returned to a grave expression. Sure he was nervous, but he had to be strong for Tubbo.

"Here we are!" Fundy flung his arms in a "v".

"Pogtopia," Tubbo exhaled.

And there they were. In the ravine long abandoned and yet refilled with a new light. It wasn't a welcoming light, but it was a light nonetheless. And Tommy would much prefer a spark of violence filling a room than nothing at all.

Tommy mumbled, "I never thought we'd be coming back."

Tommy, Tubbo, and Puffy dismounted their horses. Fundy and Niki led them down the stairs which had now been repaired. Tommy could tell the difference, the miss-match of the wood types was obvious. Diamond and Earl were brought down as well, as the staircase had been widened enough so they could make it through. As Tommy inspected Pogtopia he could tell it had been very hastily widened. Everything about it had been so sudden.

"Ayyyyy, look who showed up!" Quackity waved enthusiastically.

Tubbo chuckled softly, "Hey, Big Q."

"Come on," Quackity hurried them, "you gotta see the others!" They tied Earl and Diamond to a fence pole and followed Quackity. Niki and Fundy nodded respectfully to them and walked down another hallway. (Tommy noticed it was a new one).

"Who else is here?" Puffy inquired. She shoved her hands into her pockets and glanced around at Pogtopia. Tommy's mouth set into a line as he remembered Puffy had no ties to this place. He envied her.

Quackity broke into a small jog, "You'll see, come on!"

They jogged for a minute down the ravine and came upon three figures. One in red and black, one in all blue, and the other a cat hybrid.

"Bad? Skeppy? Ant?" Tommy called.

"Sure is!" Bad exclaimed, slinging an axe over his shoulder. Tommy smiled approvingly at him.

Skeppy stepped forward, "Good to see you guys. More allies we get, the better."

"Of course," Puffy replied.

"We gotta see the others, they're this way!" Quackity eagerly pointed ahead. Skeppy, Bad, and Ant smiled and waved as Puffy, Tommy, and Tubbo continued on.

They walked into a hollowed out area in the center of the ravine. In the center, Tommy saw a big wooden table. Pogtopia had been added to _a lot_. Sitting at the table he could see Eret, Sapnap, Jack Manifold, Ranboo, Philza, and Karl.

"Look who Niki and Fundy brought!" Quackity exclaimed, gesturing to Puffy and the boys. A chorus of whoops came from the people at the table.

"Welcome aboard," Sapnap smirked. He gave a small wink, taking a sip from a drink he had.

And then the ever even tone of a pink haired man came into Tommy's range, "Good to see you three." Tommy nervously sucked in air. He turned to his right and there was Technoblade coming into view.

All eyes turned to the man. The minute he stepped into the room he had all the attention and utmost respect. Tommy assumed that respect was most likely fear and intimidation, but it seemed to work either way. Techno walked up to the table. He made eye contact with Philza and gave him a brief nod. Phil nodded back. Tommy tensed.

"Puffy, Tommy, Tubbo. A pleasure," Techno cleared his throat, "I bet you could already tell, but there's another war breaking out. People are choosing sides. Each side's goal is to eliminate the other. No mercy for anyone. And Dream needs to go down."

"Are you asking for our help?" Tubbo asked.

Techno nodded, "We need good soldiers like you." Tommy scowled. He looked to Tubbo who's brow was furrowed in thought.

"I'd be happy to help," Puffy volunteered. She stepped forward. "I'll gladly fight with you, Techno." She looked back to Tommy and Tubbo, a flash of sorrow and pity in her eyes.

Tommy looked at the ground. He could feel small tears pricking his eyes. Tubbo placed his hand on Tommy's arm, bringing him back down to Earth. "Techno, can you give us some time to consider?"

"You can have the night," Techno decided, "Tomorrow I want to hear a final answer from you and Tommy."

"Done." Tubbo shoved in front of Tommy, "Now can you please show us to a room, we're a bit tired." Techno nodded and pointed further down the main path.

"Find an empty one, there's enough," Techno instructed.

Tubbo grabbed Tommy's hand and yanked him down the hallway. The others didn't watch them go. Tommy turned to give one final glance over his shoulder. All he could see was Puffy staring at them with a sad expression on her face.

"Up here," Tubbo said, pulling Tommy up a flight of stairs. They got to the top to find two small bedrooms. No one had claimed them, so Tommy and Tubbo headed inside the first one.

Tommy slouched down on the bed and put his head in his hands. "Oh my god. Oh my GOD."

"Look, Tommy, we gotta make a choice here," Tubbo sighed. He plopped down on the floor and hugged his knees to his chest.

"Tubbo-" Tommy forced back a sob. "-how did we manage to get into this? We said we wouldn't! We just came to find Sam and now look at us! Stuck in goddamn Pogtopia."

Tubbo picked at his shoe. "I know, I know." He shook his head. "Toms, what are we gonna do?"

A pause.

"We don't have a choice do we?" Tommy mumbled, just loud enough so Tubbo could hear. "We have to help Techno. We have to fight."

"We never get choices," Tubbo grumbled. He stared off at the wall and heaved a defeated sigh. Tommy bit his lip at the look in Tubbo's eyes. He was so tired and so sad. Tommy could barely handle it.

Tommy stood up from the bed. "But we should have a choice. We're adults, Tubbo, we're 19!"

"No Tommy, we're not adults. I get that we're over 18 and no longer considered kids but Tommy we never got to _be_ kids. We weren't taught how to be adults!" Tubbo lashed out, "Every mistake we made was an opportunity to be killed! We never had stable friends in our lives, let alone adult or parent figures. We didn't get to grow up!" He huffed frustratedly.

Tommy frowned, "So what does that make us?"

"I-I dunno," Tubbo replied, "But we sure as hell aren't adults or kids."

"So are we gonna fight?" Tommy looked up to meet Tubbo's gaze.

Tubbo nodded solemnly, "Yeah. We should."

The boys broke eye contact and stared at each other's feet, soaking in their decision. Tommy clenched his fists and scrunched up his face. He inhaled shakily. Tubbo shifted his feet.

Tubbo broke the silence, "We should get some rest."

Tommy nodded in agreement, "Yeah, yeah okay." Tubbo pat Tommy on the shoulder and gave him a kind smile. Tommy could see past the reassuring facade. A spark of terror and indescribable sadness was in the back of Tubbo's eyes. Tommy knew Tubbo could see it in him too.

Tubbo headed out and into the next room. He smiled a quick goodnight and closed the door behind him. And as the door shut, Tommy was forced to deal with his thoughts and memories as he struggled to sleep.

* * *

Tommy woke up the next morning barely rested. He had just tossed and turned most of the night. He stood up from the small cot, rubbing his eyes. He opened the door to head to Tubbo's room only to see the other boy already standing outside.

"Oh, hey Tommy. Glad you're awake," Tubbo greeted.

Tommy flashed him a quick smile, "Ready to talk to Techno?" He felt the tension instantly fill the space as Tubbo stiffened. It would've gone unnoticed to anyone else, but Tommy knew.

"Yeah," Tubbo nodded, "Let's go find him." The boys walked down the flight of stairs and to the main area. Sitting at the table was Puffy and Niki.

Puffy gave the boys a wave. "Hey guys, how'd you sleep?"

"Fine," Tommy and Tubbo chorused.

"I assume you're looking for Techno?" Niki raised an eyebrow and bit into an apple. Tommy was suspicious as to how at ease she seemed.

The blonde boy nodded, "Yeah, do you know where he is?"

Niki pointed back to where they had come from. "Go all the way to the end. You'll see a big door down there and that's where he stays."

Tommy made eye contact with Puffy and nodded to her. He desperately tried to tell her his true feelings through his eyes. Puffy smiled sympathetically. Tubbo tapped Tommy on the shoulder to grab his attention. He waved quickly at Niki and Puffy and grabbed Tommy by the wrist. He pulled Tommy away from the two women, heading back down the hall to find Techno.

Tubbo kept pulling Tommy. Tommy's eyes were fixated on the ground beneath him. He couldn't even feel himself walking. His thoughts ran rampant through his head, trying to cling for an answer to his problems. Tommy didn't want to fight, much less have Tubbo fight. They were sticking their necks out for people who barely cared for them. Why _should_ they fight in another war?

Then again, Tommy remembered all the pain and suffering everyone had faced because of Dream. His manipulation, his puppeteering, his everything. Tommy was sick of it. And sure, Tommy had managed to escape with the things he loved most: Tubbo and the disks, but the lingering fears and memories were still ever present. Tommy couldn't shake the feeling of "what if?".

Tubbo stopped in front of a big spruce door and Tommy nearly bumped into him. The door looked slightly intimidating. Tommy rolled his eyes. It was perfectly Technoblade. Tubbo reached up and knocked with the silver knocker. He let go of Tommy's wrist and they waited.

The door creaked open to reveal Techno. His face was wound up in a poker face expression. He nodded curtly and opened the door further, stepping aside to let the younger boys in. The room was a lot bigger than Tommy expected. Their were tons of weapons hung up on the walls. Tommy could recognize the tridents, axes, and swords. An enchanting table with bookshelves was stowed away in the upper left corner. A pair of wireframe glass sat on one of the books. The ceiling was dome-shaped and went a lot higher than Tommy thought. There was a small alcove hidden around the side. Tommy assumed that's where Techno slept. Lanterns lined the room and in the center of the far end was a throne. _Of course there's a thron_ _e,_ Tommy thought to himself.

"Nice place," Tubbo commented.

Techno snorted, "Thanks. It took 11 hours straight to do it."

"You're a madman," Tommy laughed. He placed his hands on his hips. Techno shrugged and shut the door.

"Do you have an answer for me? I assume that's why you came." Techno approached them with his arms behind his back. Tommy and Tubbo looked at each other. Tommy's heart shattered at the look in Tubbo's eyes. He wasn't going to let Tubbo fight for nothing.

"Techno I have two conditions," Tommy blurted. Tubbo was taken aback and stared at the taller boy in confusion. Techno raised an eyebrow. "Our first mission we need to complete is to rescue Sam. Awesamdude."

Tubbo's eyes widened, " _Tommy_ ," he hissed.

"Your second condition?" Techno replied. Tubbo grabbed Tommy's shoulder to stop him. Tommy quickly shrugged his hand away.

Tommy let out a heavy sigh, brushing his bangs out of his face. He flashed back to all the pain he had felt; the cracked smiley mask and the sickening green. "I get to kill Dream."

Techno tilted his face upwards. He smirked approvingly at the boy. Techno's shoulders shook in a silent chuckle. "I'll agree to that."

"Tommy what are you doing?" Tubbo exclaimed. He grabbed Tommy and whirled him around to face him. "Are you crazy?"

"Tubbo, we're not gonna fight for nothing. I need to have some sort of a deal," Tommy placed his hand reassuringly on top of Tubbo's.

Tubbo spluttered, "But-bu- _Dream_! He-he...how...Tommy do you know what you're risking?" Tommy opened his mouth to protest but closed it, realizing he didn't have a good rebuttle.

Technoblade laughed, "Oh come on, Tubbo, his instincts of revenge are finally kicking in. This is the spirit we need to win the war!" He pat Tommy on the back, "I'm glad you still got your fire, kid." Tommy smiled at his older brother.

"Techno, we need to get started right away," Tommy demanded. Techno barked out a laugh. He ruffled Tommy's hair and held up a finger telling him to wait. Techno headed to the door and left, shutting Tommy and Tubbo in behind him.

"Tommy!" Tubbo shouted, "You struck up a bargain with Techno? Have you not learned from last time?"

"The deal is way better!" Tommy retorted, throwing his arms out helplessly.

"No, no, no! You don't get it!" Tubbo shoved Tommy in the chest.

Tommy groaned, "Tubbo, listen I-"

"NO!" Tubbo cut him off, "Do you not realize how dangerous this is? Two possible death missions, Tommy! Two opportunities to die! Rescuing Sam is enough and I get that, but killing Dream yourself? And making a deal with Technoblade? Tommy he's gonna find a loophole to exploit! He always does!"

Tommy stared at the ground sheepishly, "I have to be the one who kills Dream."

"I know...and if anyone deserves to do that it's you but..." Tubbo trailed off.

"But what, Tubbo?" Tommy snarled bitterly.

"Tommy I care about you. So much. I love you. You're my best friend and my family and I don't want you getting hurt. I'm just trying to look out for you. I can't lose you, we've come too far," Tubbo replied. Tommy felt a twinge of guilt in his gut.

The door suddenly opened and Technoblade came back. Behind him was Puffy and Philza.

"You four are going to rescue Sam, got it?" Techno pointed between all of them.

Puffy nodded, "Sounds like a plan."

"I got plenty of weapons over there if you want to borrow them. They aren't my special ones," Techno gestured to a chest next to the door.

Tubbo grabbed Tommy's wrist again, "We'll just go get our armor and stuff from our rooms."

"Meet us in the main area," Phil told them, gesturing back through the door with his left wing. Tubbo and Tommy nodded silently. Tubbo pulled Tommy back through the door and they headed back down the hall to their rooms.

Tommy opened the door into the dusty room. He sighed, gathering his armor together to put on. Sure, he knew he was taking a big risk. Rescuing Sam, dealing the final blow to Dream, making a deal with Technoblade. But Tommy would do anything for the people and things he loved.

Anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not me trying to fit almost every character on the SMP into this story somehow, smh
> 
> (I also need synonyms for nod/nodded, if anyone has some of those I would appreciate it).


	9. Rescue and Regret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Current mood: WE DO NOT SEE THE CANON! I AM BLIND, NO CANON HERE
> 
> (also please excuse my poor action writing skills, I apologize in advance)
> 
> **Quick TW: implied thoughts of suicide, (not too obvious though) and slight sensory overload/overstimulation**

“You boys ready?” Phil asked.

Tommy and Tubbo turned to one another and nodded. “We’re ready,” Tommy decided.

Techno saluted the four of them as they made their way out. “Good luck.” The four of them didn’t reply.

”Are we taking Diamond and Earl?” Tubbo asked, gesturing towards the horses (who were now in small stables) by the main stairwell.

Puffy frowned, “Too conspicuous. We’ll leave them here.”

Tommy pat Earl’s muzzle, ”See you soon, boy.” The horse nickered in response.

The four of them left the horses and with sheathed weapons and shimmering Netherite armor they made their way back into the forest.

The sun was hiding. As a result, the forest was significantly darker. You could still see your feet, but the shadows were a lot more prominent and jagged. The tree cover was as thick as ever and Tommy wondered if they would ever be able to find the cave.

”Where did you guys corner Foolish? We can start from there,” Phil suggested.

Puffy pointed to the left, “I think it was up around those boulders.” Puffy led the other three around the rocks. Tubbo slipped and tore a hole in the side of his pants. Tommy went to help him but he wasn’t bleeding, so they kept going.

”That tree!” Tubbo exclaimed. They all turned to the left and Tommy smiled in recognition.

”There it is,” he chuckled in agreement. They walked up to the tree and inspected it. Tommy could almost see an indent in the tree where Foolish had been pressed up against.

Phil placed his hands on his waist and with a sigh his wings puffed up, "So...we just have to find a cave."

"Let's go in pairs," Puffy said, "I'll go with Tubbo. Tommy and Phil, you two stick together and stay here by this tree so we can come find you."

Tommy squeezed Tubbo's upper arm, "You'll be alright big man, Puffy's got you."

"I know," Tubbo replied, "I think you're the one who's worried." Tubbo smiled at his friend and walked over to Puffy who was waiting for him. Tommy chuckled breathily and prayed to any god that existed he was right. As Tubbo and Puffy disappeared from view he fell back against the tree with a sigh.

Tommy looked over at Phil who was perched on a rock. His bucket hat was tipped backwards to show his whole face, his shaggy blond hair falling into his eyes. Tommy didn't understand how he could tolerate that. His wings were held in close to his sides in a guarded type of expression. The primaries bristled in the slight breeze and shift of Phil's muscles. Tommy was slightly glad he didn't inherit his father's wings, they looked like a hassle to deal with. Phil's legs dangled off the rock, swaying back and forth, his sandals teeter-tottering on his feet. It was a miracle they didn't fall off.

Phil shifted position and peered around his wing to meet Tommy's gaze. Quickly the boy broke eye contact. Phil's shoulders drooped. He hopped off the rock and approached Tommy.

"So," Phil cleared his throat, "how have you been doing?"

Tommy glared, "Like you actually care."

Phil itched the back of his neck awkwardly and continued, "Well...um...how has Tubbo been?"

"We're fine. No thanks to you," Tommy finished harshly. Phil drew his wings in and looked at the ground. Tommy turned away and faced his back towards the older man. The boy straightened in an effort to look tough. Phil stepped forward and rested a hand on Tommy's shoulder.

"Don't touch me," Tommy snapped, waving him away. Phil backed off. An awkward tension settled between them.

Phil broke first, "So, um, how's Sam?"

"Sam?" Tommy blinked with confusion.

"Yeah, and not in a wellbeing way, like, personality-wise. I don't know him all that well," Phil elaborated. Tommy turned around to see Phil's back to him. His ebony black wings were decorated with a delicate sheen.

Tommy shrugged, "Sam's nice. I mean, of course he is. We wouldn't be rescuing him if he weren't." Phil nodded thoughtfully. He turned to face Tommy. They stared at each other's eyes, blue on blue, the same shade. Tommy mentally cursed his genetics.

"You've been safe, right?" Phil asked.

Tommy rolled his eyes, "Yeah. And again, no thanks to you. And _especially_ not Techno. If he hadn't blown up at the reunion none of this would be happening. I wouldn't have to be here talking to you."

"Yeah, but you know Techno. He's a bit unpredictable," Phil shrugged nonchalantly.

_Yet another excuse for Techno and zero empathy for me? Of course, I shouldn't expect anything else,_ Tommy thought to himself. Tommy looked to where Tubbo and Puffy had gone. He hoped they'd come back soon. Anything to get him out of talking to Phil.

"He's your golden child," Tommy grumbled. Phil raised an eyebrow. Tommy looked the man up and down, shook his head with a scowl and looked away.

Just then they heard a twig snap. They jumped to attention and Phil fanned out his wings defensively. They heard the rustle of leaves. Tommy's hand hovered over his sword hilt, fingers twitching. Then Tubbo came into view. The two blondes relaxed.

"Jesus, Tubbo, you scared us," Tommy exhaled, placing a hand on his chest.

Tubbo shifted his weight nervously. "Oops, sorry. Well, Puffy and I think we found the cave! Come on!" Tubbo disappeared back over the rocks. Tommy shot Phil a final glare and jogged after his friend. Phil followed close behind.

Tubbo brought them down into the bottom of a hill and along what probably should've been a small river, but was all dried up and coated in slick mud. Every couple of seconds Tubbo would stop and turn to check up on Phil and Tommy like a sheepdog who herded livestock. Tubbo clambered up the steep bank of the dry river and they walked for a little ways across flat land, weaving through some trees. They finally reached a huge fallen tree where Captain Puffy was squatting on the ground. She held a finger to her lips as they got closer. The crunching of leaves instantly quieted down.

"So, what's going on?" Phil whispered as they knelt next to Puffy. Puffy gestured silently over the log. Tommy and Phil peered over the edge to see a giant boulder with a small entrance.

Tommy nodded, "Looks pretty manmade."

"That's what we thought too," Tubbo confirmed, "We wanted to go check in on it."

"So how do we go about doing this?" Tommy asked.

Phil volunteered, "I can camp outside you know? Make sure no one comes in." Tommy and Tubbo exchanged a look with each other and Puffy. They all nodded in agreement. Phil smiled in recognition.

"The rest of us will head inside to look for Sam," Puffy decided. She drummed her fingers on the log.

"Let's go," Tubbo nodded affirmingly.

Puffy leapt over the log gracefully and jogged down the hill. Tommy and Tubbo followed close behind. Phil spread his wings and shot into the sky. Tommy, Tubbo, and Puffy watched him. Phil flew overhead and landed quietly on the top of the giant boulder. He peered over the edge and then jumped off the side, spreading his wings to slow his fall and glide to the ground. He tucked them back in once he landed and drew out his sword.

"Come on guys," Puffy whispered. She rose to her feet and beckoned for the younger boys to follow her. They hurried out across the open to join Phil at the small entrance.

Tubbo frowned, "We're gonna have to go one at a time. It's too small."

"I'll go first," Tommy stepped forward. Puffy quickly set her arm around his front to stop him.

She shook her head, "No, I don't want you getting hurt." Puffy pulled out her sword and crouched down into a squat. Without hesitation she made her way in.

Tommy sighed and turned to Phil, "So what do we do? Just wait?" Phil shrugged in response, his wings rising and falling with the motion. Tommy set his jaw tightly, "I'm going in after her. I want to make sure she's okay."

Tubbo rested a hand on Tommy's shoulder, "I'll come in after you, big man."

Phil didn't object. He nodded supportively, "Good luck."

Tommy, being tall, laid down in an army crawl position and made his way inside. He heard the scuffling of Tubbo's feet behind him as he did the same. The first ten feet were a bit of a squeeze, but the further they went along, the more it opened up. Tommy was grateful for that. He hated small spaces with a fiery passion. The rock was more jagged further inside. Tommy carefully placed his arms so he didn't cut himself. Soon it was big enough to stand. Tommy turned to help Tubbo to his feet.

"Let's go find Puffy," Tommy said. He took Tubbo's hand and led him further into the boulder. The place was eerily quiet. Tommy was surprised there weren't any boobytraps or guards anywhere. It seemed too easy.

"Boys!" A female voice hissed. Tommy and Tubbo jumped to attention and noticed Captain Puffy standing in a corner. They hurried over to her. She wrapped her arms around them both. "Why'd you come in?"

"We wanted to help," Tubbo shrugged. Puffy smiled fondly and ruffled Tubbo's hair.

She pointed down a narrower path with tripwire. "I think they're keeping Sam down that way."

Tommy leaned down and picked up a rock that fit perfectly into his palm. He rubbed his fingers along the edges. He approached the hall and looked at the floor. The tripwire was thin and laced the entire pathway. Tommy whirled his arm back and chucked the rock down ahead of them. As soon as the rock hit the tripwire Tommy heard the far too familiar hiss of explosives.

"Watch out!" Tubbo shouted. Instantly the hallway erupted with TNT. The loud flashes and bright sounds sent the three of them flying backwards.

Coughing, Tommy brushed rock dust off of him as he stumbled back to his feet. He turned back to face the hallway which was now a pile of rubble and shrapnel. The sound of the TNT was ringing in his ears. He hadn't been near it in such a long time, he'd forgotten the noise. Thin lines of blood was running down the side of his face and his right hand. Hoarsely, Tommy called, "Tubbo? Puffy?"

"Tommy?" A small voice piped up. Tommy whipped around to see Tubbo getting up from the ground. Tommy raced over to help his friend. He grabbed Tubbo's arm and hoisted him up.

"You alright Tubbo?" Tommy asked, looking his friend up and down. He helped brush some of the dust off Tubbo's armor, concern etched into his face.

Tubbo nodded and let out a choked cough, "Yeah, yeah I'm alright. Where's Puffy?"

"Tommy? Tubbo? Are you okay?" A voice with rising concern called.

"Puffy!" The boys exclaimed. They scrambled over the rocks and launched into her arms.

Puffy squeezed them tightly, "Oh thank God. I got really worried."

After a tight hug they turned back to the hallway. Tubbo chuckled awkwardly, "Well I think we solved our problem of how to get past that."

"Let's go," Tommy declared, marching forwards.

"Be careful," Puffy cautioned, "That could've easily alerted people that we're here." Tommy nodded and kept moving with Tubbo close behind. The three of them maneuvered around the rocks and made their way down the hall. The air was dusty, hot, and muggy. Tommy was nearly choking in order to adequately breathe.

They eventually reached a large chamber, filled with a moat of singing hot lava. It bubbled and hissed threateningly. And in the center, inside a cage, was none other than the man they were looking for.

"Sam!" Tommy whisper-shouted. He outstretched his arm desperately.

Sam did not look good. He had burn singes, dirt, and ash coating him from head to toe. His gloves, shirt, and pants were torn, his armor askew and cracked. One of the lenses in Sam's goggles was broken. His gas mask was the only thing that seemed to be working properly. Even then, it was still covered in gunk. His eyes were squeezed shut and his head was tilted to the ground.

Tubbo grabbed Tommy's arm. "We'll get him out. He'll be okay."

"I brought fire resistance," Puffy stated. She reached into her utility belt and brought out three bottles of a glittering yellow-orange potion. She passed two of them to Tommy and Tubbo.

Tommy popped open the cork and gulped the liquid down instantly. The potion buzzed through his system, taking effect. After feeling the tingling sensation settle down, he waded into the lava. He trudged through the molasses thick substance, putting all of his might into walking across to Sam. The closer he got to Sam, the more he worried for his friend. Tommy _needed_ to get him out. He had to.

Tommy thrust himself at the bars of the cage. "Sam! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Sam! Sam listen, we're gonna get you out of here." Sam lifted his head slightly, his eyes dull and sad.

Puffy and Tubbo raced up behind him and inspected the cage. She clicked her tongue, "It's just iron. Shouldn't be too hard to break." Puffy whipped out her enchanted pickaxe and began to work at the metal. Almost instantly, the metal caved and broke apart. Puffy made her way into the small space and broke the chains attached to Sam's wrists. He slumped against the front of the cage.

Tommy gasped, "Sam!" he raced around to the back to help Puffy pull him out. Puffy grabbed Sam's left arm and tugged him to her. She hoisted Sam on her side and pulled him out. Tommy slipped under Sam's other side and supported his right.

"Tubbo," Puffy called. She twisted her hip to face outwards. "I have one more fire resistance potion in here. We need to give it to Sam so we can get him back across." Tubbo nodded and hurried over.

"Can you set him down a sec? You know, so I can have a steady angle to give the potion to him," Tubbo requested. Puffy and Tommy let Sam sit down. Tubbo crouched in front of the man. He sighed, "Sam. Is it okay if we take your gas mask down a second?" Sam grunted and nodded.

Tubbo reached up to remove the gas mask from over one of his ears. Slowly and steadily he took off one side. With his thumb he popped off the cork and brought the bottle to Sam's lips. Tommy wrung his hands anxiously and glanced around the chamber. He was surprised no one was there.

"They probably think we died in the explosion," Puffy supplied, reading Tommy's thoughts. "But it feels a little too easy. We need to stay on guard." Tommy nodded in agreement.

"There," Tubbo declared, "He took the potion, the mask is back on, let's go." With a grunt, Sam sat up straight. Tommy and Puffy leaned down to lift him. Tubbo drew his sword and went into the lava first.

Tommy didn't realize how difficult it was to carry someone in lava. Coordinating his steps with Puffy and lugging Sam was a lot of work. And his and Puffy's potions were losing their potency. Tommy was starting to feel the heat penetrate through his Netherite trousers. He was sweating immensely. Even with the potion the heat inside the room was looming over them all and threatening to cause a stroke.

He remembered. The prison. The horrible crying obsidian walls and the gross blistering lava. The lava that dripped down so menacingly, just waiting for the day it's victim jumped in to be swallowed by the heat and become numb. For them and their memories to be turned to ash so they could finally be free. A small part of Tommy's brain still told him that would be for the best.

"How is no one here? Literally no one has come to fight us," Tubbo remarked.

Puffy and Tommy walked up out of the lava and set Sam down to rest. Puffy sighed, "We'll take our blessings where we can." She turned to Sam, "How are you feeling?"

Sam grunted, "M'okay. We can keep goin'." He took a ragged breath and tilted his head back. The other three frowned.

"He's gonna need a lot of healing when we get back," Tommy said. Puffy and Tubbo nodded. Tommy and Puffy leaned down to scoop Sam back up again and carry him out.

They made their way back through the demolished hallway full of rocks. Sam tried being helpful and moving his legs and feet so he could support his weight a little, but he ended up tripping Tommy so he had to stop. They made their way out and eventually reached Phil.

"You guys okay?" Phil asked. He shooed Tommy out from under Sam's arm and took place instead.

Tubbo nodded, "Yeah, and surprisingly no one was in there."

"I can explain," Sam said hoarsely. He opened his mouth to continue but fell into a fit of coughing.

Puffy pursed her lips, "Do that later. We need to get you to Pogtopia."

"Pog-pogtopia?" Sam questioned. He wheezed out another cough and winced.

"Yeah, big man," Tommy answered, "Technoblade revamped the place. We're using it for a base now." Sam nodded in silence, his face scrunched up in obvious pain.

"Here, I'll fly ahead with Sam. Puffy, help him on my back," Phil instructed. Puffy nodded and took Sam's weight as Phil lowered himself and spread his wings. Puffy adjusted Sam on the other man's back.

Tubbo crossed his arms, "Phil can you really take Sam's weight?"

"Yep," Phil grunted as Sam slumped forward. "I've carried Techno before." He turned to Puffy and tipped his bucket hat out of his face. "Make sure no one follows us." Without waiting for a reply Phil took off skyward and a gust of air nearly blew Tommy off his feet.

"Sam'll be alright. Come on, let's get home," Puffy said. She took off and motioned for the boys to follow.

"But why was he left alone?" Tubbo asked again.

Tommy looked back at the cave as he mentioned it. He frowned, "Probably just left him to die. Another possible enemy eliminated, y'know?"

"He's probably right," Puffy said, "I'm getting those feelings as well. Now come on, we gotta get back to Pogtopia. Make sure Sam and Phil are safe."

* * *

It didn't take long for them to get back. And they ran into zero enemies. Tommy thought it was too easy. His fingers were constantly grazing his sword hilt, ready to lash out at the smallest of bush rustles. They made their way down the main stairwell to see Eret.

"Hey guys," Eret greeted, "Sam and Phil are alright. Sam's healing and gonna do a tour and info-dump with Quackity. He'll be just fine."

"Where's Phil?" Tommy asked. He sighed heavily, finally allowing the tension in his shoulders to cease.

Eret shrugged, "Dunno. Probably resting. Speaking of that, you three should too. Good job out there." He reached over to pat Tommy on the shoulder and then ruffled Tubbo's hair.

"Thank you Eret. Boys go get some sleep. You need it," Puffy agreed. Tommy felt slightly threatened by the gaze in her eyes but aggressively loved. Was this what having a mom was like? Whatever it was, he didn't object. He just grabbed Tubbo by the wrist and walked off to his bedroom.

"Night guys!" Tubbo shouted as Tommy dragged him off.

Tommy went into his room without a word and didn't bother to shut the door. Tubbo followed him inside.

"Toms? Are you alright?" Tubbo asked.

Tommy fell to his knees on the ground, "I don't wanna talk right now Tubbo, please. Just go get some sleep."

"Fine," Tubbo sighed, "If you need me I'm right next door. Love you, Toms." The older boy shut Tommy's door and Tommy heard his retreating footsteps.

It was loud. So so loud. Too loud. The air buzzed and choked him, the vibrations pierced his temples. It was too cold but too hot and the texture of the ground made it worse. His lungs were crumbling and his clothes were too tight and itchy. Tommy tried to hug himself but he flinched at his own touch. He needed space, he needed air. _Real_ air, not trapped in a ravine. Tommy stood up from the ground and a wave of dizziness overcame him. He needed to get out.

Tommy stumbled out the door and down the stairs. He felt like he was going to puke. He teetered to the main stairwell and stumbled up the steps, his legs quivering underneath him. The railing burned, his hand twitched with the contact. He just wanted to float, feel nothing and calm down. Then maybe the touch of the floor wouldn't bother him so much.

He sucked in the cool night air desperately. A light breeze blew in his face, sending rifts through his hair. He collapsed to his knees and laid down in the grass. He knew being out here was dangerous but at this point anything was better than that musty room. The dirt welcomed him and the grass blades tickled his face. The wind blew over him, a comfortable blanket of chill. His clothes no longer seemed to restrict him and he felt his muscles loosening. The nausea settled down, his insides were no longer in turmoil. His head became less clouded and fuzzy and coherent thoughts could finally make their way to Tommy's head.

_"Tubbo-" Tommy forced back a sob. "-how did we manage to get into this? We said we wouldn't! We just came to find Sam and now look at us! Stuck in goddamn Pogtopia."_

He couldn't believe he was stuck there again. That cursed ravine. That musty, old, rundown, place filled to the brim with anger and hatred. Insanity running rampant through the veins of the cliffs and the ghosts of Alivebur's laughing and maniacal rants. The sounds of war. It rang as a clear as bell and the echoes of uncertainty and distrust hung menacingly.

He promised Tubbo they were done with fighting. He promised they wouldn't go into another war, not even this one. He failed Tubbo. He'd broken his promise. Tommy scrunched his face in frustration. He just _had_ to help Sam, didn't he? That goddamn hero complex had to fire up once again, didn't it? Why did he always have to play the good guy? Why was he so desperate for any chance he got to be the hero? Why was he so selfish?

_~~Maybe cause you're not used to positive reinforcment from people besides Tubbo and anyone you've ever trusted has betrayed you and you're determined to prove you're more than an annoying child.~~ _

Before he could stop himself, Tommy felt a warm liquid trailing down the side of his face. He reached up to wipe it away and noticed tears were spilling out. Angrily, Tommy wiped at the tears furiously. He hadn't even realized he'd been crying. Tommy curled up in a ball. The wind was cold now, no longer comforting. Fatigue settled behind his eyes and he could feel himself slipping into slumber. The last thing Tommy thought before his eyes shut was that he probably shouldn't be out here in the middle of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started writing this when Tommy died and then he came back....I have given up trying to stay somewhat aligned with canon anymore, god have mercy.
> 
> So important notice: everything in the actual SMP timeline is canon up until Tommy got trapped in prison with Dream. So no Tubbo and Ranboo marriage, Niki isn't in the Syndicate, and (sadly) no Michael. Hopefully you guys can understand. I just needed a line to draw where this story diverged from canon.
> 
> Sorry this chapter took so long, my brain just decided to die.


End file.
